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Pauli
01-23-2009, 04:32 PM
Children are not supposed to die...Parents expect to see their children grow and mature. Ultimately, parents expect to die and leave their children behind...This is the natural course of life events, the life cycle continuing as it should. The loss of a child is the loss of innocence, the death of the most vulnerable and dependent. The death of a child signifies the loss of the future, of hopes and dreams, of new strength, and of perfection. - Arnold and Gemma 1994, iv, 9, 39

When a parent dies, you lose your past; when a child dies, you lose your future. - Anonymous

This space is with me all the time it seems. Sometimes the empty space is so real I can almost touch it. I can almost see it. It gets so big sometimes that I can't see anything else. - Arnold and Gemma 1983, 56

A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is! - Neugeboren 1976, 154






From One Grieving Parent To Another

You will always grieve to some extent for your lost child. You will always remember your baby and wish beyond wishes that you could smell her smell or hold his weight in your arms. But as time goes on, this wishing will no longer deplete you of the will to live your own life.- HORCHLER AND MORRIS 1994, 158

* Parental grief is overwhelming; there is nothing that can prepare a parent for its enormity or devastation; parental grief never ends but only changes in intensity and manner of expression; parental grief affects the head, the heart, and the spirit.

* For parents, the death of a child means coming to terms with untold emptiness and deep emotional hurt. Immediately after the death, some parents may even find it impossible to express grief at all as many experience a period of shock and numbness.

* All newly bereaved parents must find ways to get through, not over, their grief-to go on with their lives. Each is forced to continue life's journey in an individual manner.

* Parental bereavement often brings with it a sense of despair, a sense that life is not worth living, a sense of disarray and of utter and complete confusion. At times, the parent's pain may seem so severe and his/her energy and desire to live so lacking that there is uncertainty about survival. Some bereaved parents feel that it is not right for them to live when their child has died. Others feel that they have failed at parenting and somehow they should have found a way to keep the child from dying.

* Grieving parents often have to adopt what one parent called a "new world view" (Wisconsin Perspectives Newsletter, December 1996, 7). Each parent must almost become a new and different person.

* Grieving parents should learn to be compassionate, gentle, and patient with themselves and each other. Grief is an emotionally devastating experience; grief is work and demands much patience, understanding, effort, and energy.

* Parental grief can and often does involve a vast array of conflicting emotions and responses including shock and numbness, intense sadness and pain, depression, and often feelings of total confusion and disorganization. Sometimes, parents may not even seem sure of who they are and may feel as if they have lost an integral part of their very being. At other times, parents may feel that what happened was a myth or an illusion or that they were having a nightmare.

* Typical parental reactions to a child's death often involve emotional and physical symptoms such as inability to sleep or a desire to sleep all the time, mood swings, exhaustion, extreme anxiety, headaches, or inability to concentrate. Grieving parents experience emotional and physical peaks and valleys. They may think life finally seems on an even keel and that they are learning to cope when periods of intense sadness overwhelm them, perhaps with even more force. (Experiencing any or all of these reactions does not mean permanent loss of control or inability to recover and are usually part of the grief process.)

* The death of a child can and often does affect not only personal health but sometimes the marriage, the entire family unit, other relationships, and even plans and goals for the future.

* Grieving parents need to know how important it is to express their pain to someone who will understand and acknowledge what they are feeling and saying. They should be honest with themselves and others about how they feel. These parents should allow themselves to cry, be angry, and complain. They need to admit they are overwhelmed, distracted, and unable to focus or concentrate. They may even need to admit to themselves and others that they might show physical and/or emotional symptoms that they don't want or can't even understand.

When are you ready to live again? There is no list of events or anniversaries to check off. In fact, you are likely to begin living again before you realize you are doing it. You may catch yourself laughing. You may pick up a book for recreational reading again. You may start playing lighter, happier music. When you do make these steps toward living again, you are likely to feel guilty at first. 'What right have I, you may ask yourself, to be happy when my child is dead?' And yet something inside feels as though you are being nudged in this positive direction. You may even have the sense that this nudge is from your child, or at least a feeling that your child approves of it. - HORCHLER AND MORRIS 1994, 158



This discussion forum is for all parents that have lost a child, a place to interact with others going through.

grammybears
01-24-2009, 03:46 AM
This is a very informative site. Even though my daughter was an adult when she died, I have gone through most of what was written upthread. There is no rhyme or reason for the feelings we have.
It took me close to five years to accept my daughters death, but there are still days when the memory of her death comes rushing back to me.
I remember when my younger sister was 8 and had died how hard it was on my mom. I have never lost a little child and I do have a lot of compassion and empathy for anyone has to go down this road no matter how old their child was when they died.

Once a child dies a parent has to learn how to deal with it and then when they can they have to go down a different path of life.
For me, I feel my daughters presence every single day. I remember their smile, their laugh, their personality, and all the small things they do in life.
For right now I am feeling my daughters presence all the time. I don't know if she is trying to tell me something or her birthday which is coming up in about 3 weeks.

I have also seen my daughter in a few of my grandchildren.
One granddaughter is always joking and teasing everybody.
Another one carries her personality and is just as head strong and set in her way for such a young person. This grandchild also looks like my oldest daughter. I always catch myself having to stop myself from calling me my granddaughter by her aunts name. My other two granddaughters have some of her looks and they do carry my daughters attitude.

But the biggest thing I have learned is that my daughter would not want me to give up on life. This almost never happened, but I am glad that I am still here. I have needed to be here for my grandchildren, hubby and family. I first found the court tv site when I was grieving. I am so thankful for these boards. I have learned that my situation is so much less then others in our world and I am very grateful.Whenever I look around at people I am so grateful that I do not have to carry the burden of other families and what we read about them.
I feel if I can just help one person to get through the tragedy they are going through or give someone hope for their life and future then I feel good about what I have done to help others.

I appreciate everyone at this board. There is so much care and love here to help others that I can do my little parts and give love back to everyone else.

jmoo

texanne
02-10-2009, 06:58 PM
My son was an adult when I lost him. He was not murdered, it was an industrial accident. One thing people need to know that it is not easier to lose an adult child than it is a small child. It is still your child. I, too feel his presence. Something happened the first Christmas he was gone that I will not share with anyone right now....but I knew it was a message, a "gift" from him. If he had died at the hands of someone who purposely took his life, I don't know how I could go on. You are tortured in so many ways already, and that would be more than I could bear. I broke up with a long time boyfriend about a year after my son died, so I understand the thing about the strain on relationships. I just did not feel he understood, and I never talked to him much at all about my son. I was tired of crying in private so I would not upset someone else. On my mothers side, we have lost 7 teenage boys and young men in the past 15 or so years. I spoil my grandsons because I am so afraid something will happen to them. This thing just changes you in a million ways. And yet, I feel so bad for someone who does not know where their child is. How do they deal with that when there is no closure? I think that would take my last shred of sanity.

emmeblu
02-23-2009, 12:52 AM
I cannot even imagine the pain that would come from the grief of losing a child. So sorry for the loss of someone so precious.

http://i250.photobucket.com/albums/gg256/DawnaV/hugs.gif

Grins
04-28-2009, 05:07 AM
A Prayer

Lord, find our loved ones and lead them home
yet if they be with you home happy and safe
ease our hearts and minds and spirits

We are all in your
loving hands
and heart~

WarmNCozy
04-28-2009, 12:35 PM
The loss of a young child is heartbreaking. Speaking from experience, losing an adult child in their 30's is worse, especially when you are best friends and share everything together and then suddenly she's gone! And all those years of memories ... such a hole in your heart that can never be filled because that person is gone from life!

WarmNCozy
04-28-2009, 06:05 PM
Snipped ... And yet, I feel so bad for someone who does not know where their child is. How do they deal with that when there is no closure? I think that would take my last shred of sanity.

I agree, we both know our children are with God and helping us get through this life waiting for us when God chooses to send us to be with them again.

The parents of the missing have to live every day wondering where their children are, if they are still alive and captive at the hands of some pervert, or God forbid, dead, and if their death was merciful. That's the horror of it!

And I pray for closure each and every day for parents and loved ones of the missing!:1222423:

Heathersauntlisa
06-06-2009, 11:31 PM
i have never lost a child. but i did loose a niece to murder . she was like my own and I know the grief and the anger i went thru. my heart goes out to any parent that has lost there child. my brother died the same time that his daughter was found nad he never knew she was found, my dad deals with sadness and grief every day. we had to bury 2 people we loved within a week of each other. and now we are waiting for person who killed her to be charged. its hard and my heart goes out to every one who has gone thru this terrible thing.