sciencegirl
01-24-2009, 05:45 PM
Getting Help
If you need immediate assistance, dial 911.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Operated by the Texas Council on Family Violence.
Contact NCADV
To find an organization near you, see our State Coalition List.
Domestic violence is a pervasive problem in virtually all countries, cultures, classes and income groups. It is a complex and multifaceted problem with individual solutions that are appropriate for different women in different socio-cultural contexts.
Both short and long-term measures must be considered. Short-term measures consist of assistance programs that protect the individual woman who has been or is being abused. They often focus on the critical period after a woman leaves her home, providing her with food, shelter, and guidance. This is the period when a woman is most at-risk from the perpetrator seeking retribution, or when she might return to the home out of a sense of hopelessness. Long-term measures seek to educate the public and empower the woman to re-establish her life without violence.
Any response should involve an interrelationship between the health, legal and social sectors, so that the woman is not continually referred to another agency. One innovative approach is the use of "family crisis centers," or "victim advocates" to act as the woman's link to the various sectors.
Support can come in various forms:
Crisis Intervention:
crisis intervention services
crisis hot lines
shelters or other emergency residential
facilities
medical services
transportation networks
laws that allow either
victims or perpetrators to be removed from the home
Emotional Support:
self-help support groups
assertiveness training
self-esteem and confidence-building
sessions
parenting skills courses
Advocacy and Legal Assistance:
access to and custody of children
property matters
financial support
restraining orders
public assistance benefits
help with immigration status
Other Supportive Services:
housing and safe accommodations
child care
access to community services
Safety PlanIf you are still in the relationship:
Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
Keep change with you at all times.
Memorize all important numbers.
Establish a "code word" or "sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
Think about what you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.
Remember, you have the right to live without fear and violence.
If you have left the relationship:
Change your phone number.
Screen calls.
Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
Change locks, if the batterer has a key.
Avoid staying alone.
Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
Vary your routine.
Notify school and work contacts.
Call a shelter for battered women.
If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.
Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2's), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)
My Personal Safety Plan
The following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect myself in case of further abuse.
Although I can't control my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to safety. I will decide for myself if and when I will tell others that I have been abused, or that I am still at risk. Friends, family and co-workers can help protect me, if they know what is happening, and what they can do to help.
To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:
1. When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can:
2. When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can:
3. I will make up a "code word" for my family, co-workers, or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is:
4. When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as:
or (at work):
or:
(at home) (in public)
5. I can tell my family, co-workers, boss, or a friend about my situation. I feel safe telling:
6. I can use an answering machine or ask my co-workers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors. I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls. I can ask:
to help screen (home) (work) my phone calls.
7. I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times. I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.
friend:
relative:
co-worker:
counselor:
shelter:
other:
8. When leaving work I can:
9. When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can:
10. I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are held:
at:
11. Telephone Numbers I Need to Know:
Police/Sheriffs Department:
Probation Officer:
Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Program:
Counselor:
Clergy Person:
Attorney:
Other:
Workplace GuidelinesThere are 60,000 incidents of on-the-job violence each year, and most victims know their attackers intimately. (Chicago Sun Times, 9/30/96)
What to Do . . .
If you are experiencing domestic violence:
Notify your supervisor and the human relations manager about the circumstances regarding your situation.
Discuss options available to you, e.g., scheduling, safety precautions,
employee/family assistance benefits.
Submit a recent photo of the perpetrator to your safety manager in the event of a confrontation at work.
Request that all information be treated with confidence to provide for your safety and well-being.
If you are the co-worker of someone experiencing domestic violence:
If you suspect a co-worker is suffering abuse, do not directly confront her/him since it is important for an individual to self-disclose for her/his own safety and well-being.
Express concern and a willingness to listen and be supportive if needed.
Offer support by listening and assisting; when an individual is ready, she/he will confide.
If a co-worker confides in you, encourage communication with the human resources manager and her/his supervisor.
If you witness an incident at work, contact your safety manager or law enforcement immediately. Make sure that the incident is documented.
If you are the supervisor or manager of an employee who is experiencing domestic violence:
Be aware of unusual absences or behavior and take note of bruises or emotional distress.
Contact the human resources manager to discuss concerns, resources available and ways to support the employee, e.g., safety planning, employee assistance counseling, family resource referrals, flexible scheduling, security measures.
Be familiar with community resources and referrals.
Maintain confidentiality at all times; be sensitive to the seriousness of the situation.
Discuss who is appropriate to speak with the employee; agree on all forms of communication, e.g., providing the safety manager with a photo if there is a risk at work.
Assist the employee in documenting all incidents with the batterer that occur in the workplace.
Take action against domestic violence by encouraging employees to volunteer and by providing financial or in-kind support to your local domestic violence programs.
Legal GuidelinesQuestions to Ask Before You Hire An Attorney
General questions about divorce or custody cases
Have you or any members of your firm ever represented my partner or anyone associated with my partner?
Do you handle divorce or custody cases?
How many of these cases have you handled?
How many of them were contested?
http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp_128.html
How many of them went to trial?
Did any of the cases involve expert witnesses?
How many were before the judge(s) who will hear my case?
What kind of decisions does this judge usually make?
Have you ever appealed a case, and if so, what were the issue(s) appealed? How many of these appealed cases did you win? (Remember that even excellent attorneys lose cases.)
Questions about attorney fees and costs
What are your fees? What work do these fees cover? Is this an hourly fee or a flat fee for the entire case?
Is there an additional charge for appearing in court?
Do you ever charge less for people who do not have much money?
Do you charge a retainer? How much?
What does it cover? Do you refund all or part of the retainer if my case ends up being dropped or not taking much time? (Attorneys should be willing to refund any part of the retainer not spent.)
Are there other expenses which I may have to pay? What are they and how much are they likely to be?
Will you be the only person working on my case? What will other people do? How will I be charged for their work? Will I be charged for speaking to your secretary? Your receptionist?
Are there ways that I can assist you so as to keep down my costs?
Will you send me a copy of letters, documents, and court papers that you file or receive regarding my case?
Do you charge extra if the case gets more complicated or we have to go back to court?
Will you require that I have paid everything that I owe you before you will go to court with me or finish my case? (Many attorneys do this. They may also refuse to return your original papers or copies of your file, and in some states this may be legal. Therefore you should insist on getting a copy of any paper filed with the court or given or received from another party or otherwise relevant to your case. Be sure to keep all of them in a safe place, in case you ever need them.)
Are you willing to work out a payment plan with me?
Will you put our agreement about fees and what work you will perform in writing?
http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp_128.html
If you need immediate assistance, dial 911.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233). Operated by the Texas Council on Family Violence.
Contact NCADV
To find an organization near you, see our State Coalition List.
Domestic violence is a pervasive problem in virtually all countries, cultures, classes and income groups. It is a complex and multifaceted problem with individual solutions that are appropriate for different women in different socio-cultural contexts.
Both short and long-term measures must be considered. Short-term measures consist of assistance programs that protect the individual woman who has been or is being abused. They often focus on the critical period after a woman leaves her home, providing her with food, shelter, and guidance. This is the period when a woman is most at-risk from the perpetrator seeking retribution, or when she might return to the home out of a sense of hopelessness. Long-term measures seek to educate the public and empower the woman to re-establish her life without violence.
Any response should involve an interrelationship between the health, legal and social sectors, so that the woman is not continually referred to another agency. One innovative approach is the use of "family crisis centers," or "victim advocates" to act as the woman's link to the various sectors.
Support can come in various forms:
Crisis Intervention:
crisis intervention services
crisis hot lines
shelters or other emergency residential
facilities
medical services
transportation networks
laws that allow either
victims or perpetrators to be removed from the home
Emotional Support:
self-help support groups
assertiveness training
self-esteem and confidence-building
sessions
parenting skills courses
Advocacy and Legal Assistance:
access to and custody of children
property matters
financial support
restraining orders
public assistance benefits
help with immigration status
Other Supportive Services:
housing and safe accommodations
child care
access to community services
Safety PlanIf you are still in the relationship:
Think of a safe place to go if an argument occurs - avoid rooms with no exits (bathroom), or rooms with weapons (kitchen).
Think about and make a list of safe people to contact.
Keep change with you at all times.
Memorize all important numbers.
Establish a "code word" or "sign" so that family, friends, teachers or co-workers know when to call for help.
Think about what you will say to your partner if he\she becomes violent.
Remember, you have the right to live without fear and violence.
If you have left the relationship:
Change your phone number.
Screen calls.
Save and document all contacts, messages, injuries or other incidents involving the batterer.
Change locks, if the batterer has a key.
Avoid staying alone.
Plan how to get away if confronted by an abusive partner.
If you have to meet your partner, do it in a public place.
Vary your routine.
Notify school and work contacts.
Call a shelter for battered women.
If you leave the relationship or are thinking of leaving, you should take important papers and documents with you to enable you to apply for benefits or take legal action.
Important papers you should take include social security cards and birth certificates for you and your children, your marriage license, leases or deeds in your name or both yours and your partner's names, your checkbook, your charge cards, bank statements and charge account statements, insurance policies, proof of income for you and your spouse (pay stubs or W-2's), and any documentation of past incidents of abuse (photos, police reports, medical records, etc.)
My Personal Safety Plan
The following steps are my plan for increasing my safety and preparing to protect myself in case of further abuse.
Although I can't control my abuser's violence, I do have a choice about how I respond and how I get to safety. I will decide for myself if and when I will tell others that I have been abused, or that I am still at risk. Friends, family and co-workers can help protect me, if they know what is happening, and what they can do to help.
To increase my safety, I can do some or all of the following:
1. When I have to talk to my abuser in person, I can:
2. When I talk to my abuser on the phone, I can:
3. I will make up a "code word" for my family, co-workers, or friends, so they know when to call for help for me. My code word is:
4. When I feel a fight coming on, I will try to move to a place that is lowest risk for getting hurt such as:
or (at work):
or:
(at home) (in public)
5. I can tell my family, co-workers, boss, or a friend about my situation. I feel safe telling:
6. I can use an answering machine or ask my co-workers, friends or other family members to screen my calls and visitors. I have the right to not receive harassing phone calls. I can ask:
to help screen (home) (work) my phone calls.
7. I can keep change for phone calls with me at all times. I can call any of the following people for assistance or support if necessary and can ask them to call the police if they see my abuser bothering me.
friend:
relative:
co-worker:
counselor:
shelter:
other:
8. When leaving work I can:
9. When walking, riding or driving home, if problems occur, I can:
10. I can attend a support group for women who have been abused. Support groups are held:
at:
11. Telephone Numbers I Need to Know:
Police/Sheriffs Department:
Probation Officer:
Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault Program:
Counselor:
Clergy Person:
Attorney:
Other:
Workplace GuidelinesThere are 60,000 incidents of on-the-job violence each year, and most victims know their attackers intimately. (Chicago Sun Times, 9/30/96)
What to Do . . .
If you are experiencing domestic violence:
Notify your supervisor and the human relations manager about the circumstances regarding your situation.
Discuss options available to you, e.g., scheduling, safety precautions,
employee/family assistance benefits.
Submit a recent photo of the perpetrator to your safety manager in the event of a confrontation at work.
Request that all information be treated with confidence to provide for your safety and well-being.
If you are the co-worker of someone experiencing domestic violence:
If you suspect a co-worker is suffering abuse, do not directly confront her/him since it is important for an individual to self-disclose for her/his own safety and well-being.
Express concern and a willingness to listen and be supportive if needed.
Offer support by listening and assisting; when an individual is ready, she/he will confide.
If a co-worker confides in you, encourage communication with the human resources manager and her/his supervisor.
If you witness an incident at work, contact your safety manager or law enforcement immediately. Make sure that the incident is documented.
If you are the supervisor or manager of an employee who is experiencing domestic violence:
Be aware of unusual absences or behavior and take note of bruises or emotional distress.
Contact the human resources manager to discuss concerns, resources available and ways to support the employee, e.g., safety planning, employee assistance counseling, family resource referrals, flexible scheduling, security measures.
Be familiar with community resources and referrals.
Maintain confidentiality at all times; be sensitive to the seriousness of the situation.
Discuss who is appropriate to speak with the employee; agree on all forms of communication, e.g., providing the safety manager with a photo if there is a risk at work.
Assist the employee in documenting all incidents with the batterer that occur in the workplace.
Take action against domestic violence by encouraging employees to volunteer and by providing financial or in-kind support to your local domestic violence programs.
Legal GuidelinesQuestions to Ask Before You Hire An Attorney
General questions about divorce or custody cases
Have you or any members of your firm ever represented my partner or anyone associated with my partner?
Do you handle divorce or custody cases?
How many of these cases have you handled?
How many of them were contested?
http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp_128.html
How many of them went to trial?
Did any of the cases involve expert witnesses?
How many were before the judge(s) who will hear my case?
What kind of decisions does this judge usually make?
Have you ever appealed a case, and if so, what were the issue(s) appealed? How many of these appealed cases did you win? (Remember that even excellent attorneys lose cases.)
Questions about attorney fees and costs
What are your fees? What work do these fees cover? Is this an hourly fee or a flat fee for the entire case?
Is there an additional charge for appearing in court?
Do you ever charge less for people who do not have much money?
Do you charge a retainer? How much?
What does it cover? Do you refund all or part of the retainer if my case ends up being dropped or not taking much time? (Attorneys should be willing to refund any part of the retainer not spent.)
Are there other expenses which I may have to pay? What are they and how much are they likely to be?
Will you be the only person working on my case? What will other people do? How will I be charged for their work? Will I be charged for speaking to your secretary? Your receptionist?
Are there ways that I can assist you so as to keep down my costs?
Will you send me a copy of letters, documents, and court papers that you file or receive regarding my case?
Do you charge extra if the case gets more complicated or we have to go back to court?
Will you require that I have paid everything that I owe you before you will go to court with me or finish my case? (Many attorneys do this. They may also refuse to return your original papers or copies of your file, and in some states this may be legal. Therefore you should insist on getting a copy of any paper filed with the court or given or received from another party or otherwise relevant to your case. Be sure to keep all of them in a safe place, in case you ever need them.)
Are you willing to work out a payment plan with me?
Will you put our agreement about fees and what work you will perform in writing?
http://www.ncadv.org/protectyourself/GettingHelp_128.html