Survivors of Alcoholism, Abuse, and Addiction

[Peace/allaboutfair]

Okay, I hope no one minds if I just jump right in. I am continuing the threads to support so many posters who are dealing with or have dealt with tremendous struggles in their lives. This one is devoted to our posters whose lives have been touched by alcoholism, drug addiction, or abuse.

[Grins]

Okay, I hope no one minds if I just jump right in. I am continuing the threads to support so many posters who are dealing with or have dealt with tremendous struggles in their lives. This one is devoted to our posters whose lives have been touched by alcoholism, drug addiction, or abuse.

Not to ever miss a good thread, I of course have to confess to being an alcoholic and happily describe my road of recovery .
Once I thought I was hopeless; now I know there is always hope.
No alcohol or cigs for 11+ years.

[sky]

Not to ever miss a good thread, I of course have to confess to being an alcoholic and happily describe my road of recovery .
Once I thought I was hopeless; now I know there is always hope.
No alcohol or cigs for 11+ years.


Congrats Grins!

I've been cig free since '95...my motto was "Feelin' alive in '95!" :happy0207:

[protectkidz]

Hi Peace!

You rock for all you do :)

Cigs is my addiction - hoping to break it starting Jan. 1, my target date.

[Peace/allaboutfair]

Not to ever miss a good thread, I of course have to confess to being an alcoholic and happily describe my road of recovery .
Once I thought I was hopeless; now I know there is always hope.
No alcohol or cigs for 11+ years.

:hifive: Way to go, Grins!

[Peace/allaboutfair]

Hi Peace!

You rock for all you do :)

Cigs is my addiction - hoping to break it starting Jan. 1, my target date.

Hi, Sky and Protectkidz - I've been cigarette free since May 2, 1987. Twenty years and smelling good! ('course, the showers help, too!:happy0158:)

[Grins]

Congrats Grins!

I've been cig free since '95...my motto was "Feelin' alive in '95!" :happy0207:Sky! Congrats on over 12 years! I quit drinking & smoking on the same day figuring I might as well.
:basic45:

[Peace/allaboutfair]

Sky! Congrats on over 12 years! I quit drinking & smoking on the same day figuring I might as well.
:basic45:

Wow, Grins! That must have been hard to quit both at the same time!

[Grins]

Hi Peace!

You rock for all you do :)

Cigs is my addiction - hoping to break it starting Jan. 1, my target date.Oh I congratulate you protectkidz!!
The decision has to come first. Once I decided, I changed a number of my beliefs to:
=I do not need a cig to relax
=I do not need a drink to relax
=I do not deserve a cig and drink because I worked hard all day/week.
=I can find healthier ways to relax and reward myself.
=I do not smoke any more or buy them or carrry them or ask for them.
=nicotine is a drug and I will not die early because of addiction to drugs.

Beliefs drive thinking drive feelings drive behavior.
Change beliefs, change behavior.
Refuse to change beliefs, you will smoke again.

You can do it. :basic44: ..... :hifive:

[Grins]

Wow, Grins! That must have been hard to quit both at the same time!Hi Peace!!
Funny thing is, I was relieved!!

[Grins]

Hi, Sky and Protectkidz - I've been cigarette free since May 2, 1987. Twenty years and smelling good! ('course, the showers help, too!:happy0158:):67302:
Oooooo my 20 years..... :faintTHUD:
We are Dancin' With The Stars here!!
Actually once we stop smoking, we regain the sense of smell and enjoy all fragrances more; food too.
Plus, we have a tremendous increase in libido.


:innocent1:

:022:

[protectkidz]

Oh I congratulate you protectkidz!!
The decision has to come first. Once I decided, I changed a number of my beliefs to:
=I do not need a cig to relax
=I do not need a drink to relax
=I do not deserve a cig and drink because I worked hard all day/week.
=I can find healthier ways to relax and reward myself.
=I do not smoke any more or buy them or carrry them or ask for them.
=nicotine is a drug and I will not die early because of addiction to drugs.

Beliefs drive thinking drive feelings drive behavior.
Change beliefs, change behavior.
Refuse to change beliefs, you will smoke again.

You can do it. :basic44: ..... :hifive:

THANK YOU, Grins.

I just printed that out and will hang it on my fridge.

:love0085:

[protectkidz]

:67302:
Oooooo my 20 years..... :faintTHUD:
We are Dancin' With The Stars here!!
Actually once we stop smoking, we regain the sense of smell and enjoy all fragrances more; food too.
Plus, we have a tremendous increase in libido.


:innocent1:

:022:

libido?

what's that? :confused:

[Bamaisin]

I follow this thread on OC and I just wanted to say how proud I am of you all. I am married to a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and also grew up in a household full of them. Amazingly enough, I came out okay but not un-afflicted by the pain and misery it has caused. For all of you.:1222423:

[Louise]

I follow this thread on OC and I just wanted to say how proud I am of you all. I am married to a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and also grew up in a household full of them. Amazingly enough, I came out okay but not un-afflicted by the pain and misery it has caused. For all of you.:1222423:

:love0085:

[Peace/allaboutfair]

:67302:
Oooooo my 20 years..... :faintTHUD:
We are Dancin' With The Stars here!!
Actually once we stop smoking, we regain the sense of smell and enjoy all fragrances more; food too.
Plus, we have a tremendous increase in libido.


:innocent1:

:022:



Yeah - definitely the food! it caught up with me!

[Peace/allaboutfair]

libido?

what's that? :confused:

:67302::67302:

[Peace/allaboutfair]

I follow this thread on OC and I just wanted to say how proud I am of you all. I am married to a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and also grew up in a household full of them. Amazingly enough, I came out okay but not un-afflicted by the pain and misery it has caused. For all of you.:1222423:


Welcome to another survivor, Bamaisin!

[LiveLaughLuv]

I wish I could quit smoking. It's not that easy!

I have been drug free for 23 years. After this nasty car accident, I have chronic and constant pain, so I am on prescribed pain meds. I have resigned myself to being on this for the rest of my life, since there is nothing they can do to stop it! I am now also disabled from work.

I also broke the physcial abuse cycle. Never passed that on to my children. I grew up in a small family, father was an abusive alcoholic who gambled all his money away. Fights were the norm for us. Until one day when I couldn't take it anymore. My children are well rounded (at least I think so) and never felt the ill effects of my childhood. I vowed to give them better.

Congratulations to all the survivors. We now stand strong! :happy0158:

[Grins]

THANK YOU, Grins.

I just printed that out and will hang it on my fridge.

:love0085:

You are very kind PK and I appreciate what you did.
Those are principles of how our minds work and our behavior can always be traced back to a belief. It is fun now to do it to myself and see where my behavior comes from.

[Grins]

libido?

what's that? :confused:

:s1gyahoo: I thought it had something to do with the library...

:z0tdntknw:

[Grins]

I follow this thread on OC and I just wanted to say how proud I am of you all. I am married to a recovering alcoholic/drug addict and also grew up in a household full of them. Amazingly enough, I came out okay but not un-afflicted by the pain and misery it has caused. For all of you.:1222423:
So good to have you with us Bama!
:basic44:
No one knows who hasn't gone through it. I am proud of you Bama!!
:1222423:

[Grins]

I wish I could quit smoking. It's not that easy!

I have been drug free for 23 years. After this nasty car accident, I have chronic and constant pain, so I am on prescribed pain meds. I have resigned myself to being on this for the rest of my life, since there is nothing they can do to stop it! I am now also disabled from work.

I also broke the physcial abuse cycle. Never passed that on to my children. I grew up in a small family, father was an abusive alcoholic who gambled all his money away. Fights were the norm for us. Until one day when I couldn't take it anymore. My children are well rounded (at least I think so) and never felt the ill effects of my childhood. I vowed to give them better.

Congratulations to all the survivors. We now stand strong! :happy0158:
Standing strong is right LiveLaughLuv!! How good that you can laugh and love. The pain hurts in so many ways; but you have 'broken the cycle'=an enormous achievement.
You deserve praise as well!! Continue on and be well; stay with us as a family and rest and vent with us.

:hifive:

[Grins]

:INhouseReading04: << reading "Clapton."

Anyone read it yet?

[LiveLaughLuv]

Standing strong is right LiveLaughLuv!! How good that you can laugh and love. The pain hurts in so many ways; but you have 'broken the cycle'=an enormous achievement.
You deserve praise as well!! Continue on and be well; stay with us as a family and rest and vent with us.
:hifive:

Thanks Grins, I do intend on staying here. I will be venting every now and then, I'm sure! :happy0158:


Glad to be part of this wonderful family. :s1gyahoo:

[elroh6]

Thanks Grins, I do intend on staying here. I will be venting every now and then, I'm sure! :happy0158:


Glad to be part of this wonderful family. :s1gyahoo:This IS a wonderful family, and I'm very happy to be here. I know everyone is glad you're here.

[elroh6]

You are very kind PK and I appreciate what you did.
Those are principles of how our minds work and our behavior can always be traced back to a belief. It is fun now to do it to myself and see where my behavior comes from.I love how you said what you said. No preachiness.Our lives are our own experiences and experiments, and hopefully, we deal properly.

[CatToy]

:s1gyahoo:Isnt it great to not be owned by the cigs? No more running to the store, no more ashtrays to dump no more lighters, no more always having to make excuses to go outside to puff away on a cancer stick. The additives in those ciggies, 1/2 of us never knew what we were smoking, it sure wasnt tobacco.....more like a chem stick. I dont miss it at ALL and when I smell smoke I kind of want to gag. :( I smoked for 30yrs, so it's shocking to me that I have not smoked in 5 yrs, and am now a non smoker.. I'm much more creative too. Time spent smoking is now spent w/artwork.

[Grins]

This IS a wonderful family, and I'm very happy to be here. I know everyone is glad you're here.Hi and Welcome elroh6!
:happy0207: Sometimes a change is good, like underwear.
:basic45:

[Grins]

:s1gyahoo:Isnt it great to not be owned by the cigs? No more running to the store, no more ashtrays to dump no more lighters, no more always having to make excuses to go outside to puff away on a cancer stick. The additives in those ciggies, 1/2 of us never knew what we were smoking, it sure wasnt tobacco.....more like a chem stick. I dont miss it at ALL and when I smell smoke I kind of want to gag. :( I smoked for 30yrs, so it's shocking to me that I have not smoked in 5 yrs, and am now a non smoker.. I'm much more creative too. Time spent smoking is now spent w/artwork.Good for you CatToy!!
:1222423::1222423:
You are so right=I cannot stand to be around smokers now and I smoked 40 years.
It is sad that smokers are overtaxed when corporations have addicted them=let them pay for it all and nicotine be banned.
What kind of art work do you do?

[Bamaisin]

I am quitting smoking on Monday. Wish me luck!

[Doc Holliday]

I am quitting smoking on Monday. Wish me luck!

Luck!

[Grins]

I am quitting smoking on Monday. Wish me luck!Stick to your belief: I do not smoke anymore and I am glad.

[Beowulf]

Quiting smoking just requires a little will power.

[Bamaisin]

I made it to three days! So far so good.I haven't killed anyone YET!:grin:

[WarmNCozy]

I love your bullet points! And Good for You, Grins! You are doing what makes you happy!

I don't drink! Lost a beloved one who did and decided, NOT ME!

Smoked on and off since 20! Gave it up at 35. Taken it back up this year, because at my age, I always loved to smoke, and am going out smoking, playing my grand piano, & playing golf! Underweight for the national averages, don't like chocolate or sweets at all! Rather have a pretzel!

So, if smoking knocks off 10 years of my life at this stage, I say OK! I don't want to be 90 and in a Nursing Home!

By the way, Grandparents lived to be 96 and 92 and smoked and drank from 18. Not in excess!

[Grins]

I made it to three days! So far so good.I haven't killed anyone YET!:grin:
:67302:
Great Bama!
I am proud of you!!

[Bamaisin]

:67302:
Great Bama!
I am proud of you!!



Thanks!:friends3:

[Missti]

I am quitting smoking on Monday. Wish me luck!


:mornincoffee: Good Morning everyone.

This is my very first post on these forums - so HI everyone :howdy:

Best of luck on your up coming Quit Bamaisin...I hope it goes well for you.


Maybe our posters here who have been Quit for a while could tell us how they quit, what they used to help them (if anything) or whatever TIPS they have for those of US (yep...I am still a smoker too...) who are planning a Quit day.

I know I would appreciate any info that will help.

[rockford2]

:mornincoffee: Good Morning everyone.

This is my very first post on these forums - so HI everyone :howdy:

Best of luck on your up coming Quit Bamaisin...I hope it goes well for you.


Maybe our posters here who have been Quit for a while could tell us how they quit, what they used to help them (if anything) or whatever TIPS they have for those of US (yep...I am still a smoker too...) who are planning a Quit day.

I know I would appreciate any info that will help.

Hi Missti! :0012:

I'm not sure if Mora is a member of this board yet, but she posted on the CTV board about how she quit smoking. Let me see if I can find that thread from CTV and or see if Mora is a member here as of yet.

[rockford2]

I love your bullet points! And Good for You, Grins! You are doing what makes you happy!

I don't drink! Lost a beloved one who did and decided, NOT ME!

Smoked on and off since 20! Gave it up at 35. Taken it back up this year, because at my age, I always loved to smoke, and am going out smoking, playing my grand piano, & playing golf! Underweight for the national averages, don't like chocolate or sweets at all! Rather have a pretzel!

So, if smoking knocks off 10 years of my life at this stage, I say OK! I don't want to be 90 and in a Nursing Home!

By the way, Grandparents lived to be 96 and 92 and smoked and drank from 18. Not in excess!


ok. this is not a preachy post.....promise. My father had the same way of thinking as you do, Warm, and we all thought.....well, it's his choice and maybe he's right.

He started to have difficulty breathing in his late 50's and was diagnosed with emphysema. Today, at age 66, he is still alive and every day is a struggle for him to breathe. I would hate to see this happen to anyone. :1222423:

[WarmNCozy]

ok. this is not a preachy post.....promise. My father had the same way of thinking as you do, Warm, and we all thought.....well, it's his choice and maybe he's right.

He started to have difficulty breathing in his late 50's and was diagnosed with emphysema. Today, at age 66, he is still alive and every day is a struggle for him to breathe. I would hate to see this happen to anyone. :1222423:

And I did not take it as preachy just a concerned person! It is a "chance" you take, but look at Dana Reeve who never smoked a cigarette in her life and died of lung cancer at 44???? And Winston Churchill who smoked cigar after cigar all his adult life and lived to be 90 Go Figure!:0009:

[WarmNCozy]

And I did not take it as preachy just a concerned person! It is a "chance" you take, but look at Dana Reeve who never smoked a cigarette in her life and died of lung cancer at 44???? And Winston Churchill who smoked cigar after cigar all his adult life and lived to be 90 Go Figure!:0009:

I also had 30 some years off smoking! If that counts? Who knows! When God calls me, then I'm going home!

[gramvof14]

I quit for 10 years I went back when my hubby died the crazy thing is when the grandkids come and stay for the weekend I won't smoke and in the summer they come for weeks at a time and I don't smoke,I also don't smoke when I am at their house, if I can do that I know I could quit again it is just harder I guess because I live alone. Does that make any sense???:0doh:

[WarmNCozy]

I quit for 10 years I went back when my hubby died the crazy thing is when the grandkids come and stay for the weekend I won't smoke and in the summer they come for weeks at a time and I don't smoke,I also don't smoke when I am at their house, if I can do that I know I could quit again it is just harder I guess because I live alone. Does that make any sense???:0doh:

I don't smoke in respect to my family who do not want to see me smoking a cigarette!

I live alone, and I guess because I do, choose what I eat, what I do, who I see or not, and come and go as I please! My having a cigarette disturbs no one in my own home, except I don't want my babies, 3 cats to inhale second hand smoke, so I only have a cigarette on my patio only!

[gramvof14]

I don't smoke in respect to my family who do not want to see me smoking a cigarette!

I live alone, and I guess because I do, choose what I eat, what I do, who I see or not, and come and go as I please! My having a cigarette disturbs no one in my own home, except I don't want my babies, 3 cats to inhale second hand smoke, so I only have a cigarette on my patio only!
If I lived where you do I would do that also but my sons were over my house this evening plowing me out and shoveling my roof off we have so much snow they don't have any more room to put it.:doh:

[Tam5115]

I do not smoke around my granddaughter at all.

But I know I need to quit. I'm coughing like a fool and will even gag and dry heave. It's ridiculous. I hope to try Chantix soon. I just need to get a doc appt. My doc left and I need to get a new one. My mom's doc agreed to take me on.

[Grins]

I do not smoke around my granddaughter at all.

But I know I need to quit. I'm coughing like a fool and will even gag and dry heave. It's ridiculous. I hope to try Chantix soon. I just need to get a doc appt. My doc left and I need to get a new one. My mom's doc agreed to take me on.Hope you do Tam! I was amazed at how quickly i felt better esp inna mornin!
Once I had decided, I was at peace; I will not be an addict!
We all have the will power and a doctor is a great help to manage us through withdrawal.
Best of all, we are justly proud of ourselves.
For a long time people will be congratulating you.
How often does that happen to us?
I am proud of you, Tam!
:love0085:

[Grins]

Coping with the holidays~

From Mayo Clinic:

"...12 tips to prevent holiday stress and depression

When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if you know the holidays have taken an emotional toll in previous years.

Tips you can try to head off holiday stress and depression: .."

see
http://mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030

Especially good for me to learn is:

"Learn to say no. Believe it or not, people will understand if you can't do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you'll avoid feeling resentful, bitter and overwhelmed. If it's really not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.."
and
delegate some jobs to others or hire someone!
and
Simplify.

[PatC]

Coping with the holidays~

From Mayo Clinic:

"...12 tips to prevent holiday stress and depression

When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if you know the holidays have taken an emotional toll in previous years.

Tips you can try to head off holiday stress and depression: .."

see
http://mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030

Especially good for me to learn is:

"Learn to say no. Believe it or not, people will understand if you can't do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you'll avoid feeling resentful, bitter and overwhelmed. If it's really not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.."
and
delegate some jobs to others or hire someone!
and
Simplify.

I should have said "No" to cooking the Christmas meal for my FIL/BIL this year. After cooking/baking for three days then packing up all the food to take out there since it's hard for FIL to travel, I'm told, "We ate so much at David's (other BIL) last night we're not going to be very hungry today."

I stayed hurt, angry and upset all day/night till I got home Wednesday afternoon and could really relax.

Yes, I learned my lesson. Never again.

[Grins]

I should have said "No" to cooking the Christmas meal for my FIL/BIL this year. After cooking/baking for three days then packing up all the food to take out there since it's hard for FIL to travel, I'm told, "We ate so much at David's (other BIL) last night we're not going to be very hungry today."

I stayed hurt, angry and upset all day/night till I got home Wednesday afternoon and could really relax.

Yes, I learned my lesson. Never again.Whew that is really bad Pat after all the work you did AND at the THE Busiest Time of the year.
I used to think I had to do everything asked of me & got burned out and resented it anyway. Now I just say, "No I can't do that, sorry."
Period; no reasons necessary.
Took me too long to learn that though.

Breaking past habits is wise too; even if good ones. Like how I decorate; here I can simplify and shorten the time involved as with other work that does not involve important traditions.

[PatC]

Whew that is really bad Pat after all the work you did AND at the THE Busiest Time of the year.
I used to think I had to do everything asked of me & got burned out and resented it anyway. Now I just say, "No I can't do that, sorry."
Period; no reasons necessary.
Took me too long to learn that though.

Breaking past habits is wise too; even if good ones. Like how I decorate; here I can simplify and shorten the time involved as with other work that does not involve important traditions.

Yes, I think I'm going to work very hard this year to simplify my life. I don't mind doing things for people. I LIKE doing things for people, but from now on it's going to be on MY schedule. I worked a lot of years, putting in some very long hours to be able to retire and do things I wanted to do ... and by golly, this is going to be the year I get around to doing more of them.

I've decided I deserve it. :000:

[Grins]

Yes, I think I'm going to work very hard this year to simplify my life. I don't mind doing things for people. I LIKE doing things for people, but from now on it's going to be on MY schedule. I worked a lot of years, putting in some very long hours to be able to retire and do things I wanted to do ... and by golly, this is going to be the year I get around to doing more of them.

I've decided I deserve it. :000:DANG RIGHT!!!
Make a list of 10 things you have wanted to do just for fun for you but never 'had time.'

........ ok then ...... 3

:basic45::girl_haha:
;;;;;;; :hifive: ======= :s1gyahoo:

NOW, make a date with YOU and do the first one.
I did it and had a fantastic day at the art museum~

[littlewheels]

DANG RIGHT!!!
Make a list of 10 things you have wanted to do just for fun for you but never 'had time.'

........ ok then ...... 3

:basic45::girl_haha:
;;;;;;; :hifive: ======= :s1gyahoo:

NOW, make a date with YOU and do the first one.
I did it and had a fantastic day at the art museum~

:howdy: For some reason, I don't think the art museum is exactly what PatC has in mind! hee-hee Hope ya'all had a Merry Xmas and a better 2008 New Year ahead! <hugs> It has been a bad 2007 for me, but at least a good year for the roses! :1222423:

[Grins]

:howdy: For some reason, I don't think the art museum is exactly what PatC has in mind! hee-hee Hope ya'all had a Merry Xmas and a better 2008 New Year ahead! <hugs> It has been a bad 2007 for me, but at least a good year for the roses! :1222423:
:howdy: Hiya LW!!
Oh yeah?
You don't know about the Mysterious Stranger who also went to the art museum that day...
:basic45:

Hope next year is stupendous for you!

:basic44:
PS~we love you! :love0085:

[littlewheels]

:howdy: Hiya LW!!
Oh yeah?
You don't know about the Mysterious Stranger who also went to the art museum that day...
:basic45:

Hope next year is stupendous for you!

:basic44:
PS~we love you! :love0085:

:shock: That masked "Mysterious Stranger" was you?!!! Dang, had I only known! :basic45: Love Ya'all too!

[PatC]

:shock: That masked "Mysterious Stranger" was you?!!! Dang, had I only known! :basic45: Love Ya'all too!

Y'all are making that art museum look pretty good about now. :girl_haha:

[Grins]

:shock: That masked "Mysterious Stranger" was you?!!! Dang, had I only known! :basic45: Love Ya'all too!LW!!
Yes, I was the Mysterious Stranger but the mask was my nightly mudpack I forgot to wash off. Never noticed it until a chunk fell off into my cappuccino.

Look for me soon at black tie debut of the Miss Piggy Mens' Fragrance line.

[Grins]

Y'all are making that art museum look pretty good about now. :girl_haha:
Sure!
Stop by the a romance painting like this~

http://www.clipartguide.com/_small/0060-0502-1117-2225.jpg

Then just wait~~~

:basic45:

http://www.clipartguide.com/

[Peace/allaboutfair]

Just checking in briefly to say hello to all of you. May the new year bring contentment and love to you all!

[Louise]

Just checking in briefly to say hello to all of you. May the new year bring contentment and love to you all!

Hi Peace, Happy New Year to you! :love0085:

[Peace/allaboutfair]

Thanks, Louise!

[Grins]

Congrats Grins!

I've been cig free since '95...my motto was "Feelin' alive in '95!" :happy0207:
Happy New Year all!

Sky, congrats again! How did you quit smoking in '95?
So many have decided to stop as a Resolution. I know it would be encouraging to hear.

Any one else have a story?

[PatC]

Sure!
Stop by the a romance painting like this~

http://www.clipartguide.com/_small/0060-0502-1117-2225.jpg

Then just wait~~~

:basic45:

http://www.clipartguide.com/


Well..... I've been waiting! http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g258/PatC_pics/smilies/foot_tapping.gif

I finally gave up on you and found a new partner!

http://vintagedancers.org/images/50dancer_b.jpg

[PatC]

I've watched some of the unfolding Britney Spears drama this morning and one question this case does bring up. Is there no way to force her into some kind of treatment program before one of those children (or someone else) is seriously harmed?

What do we do in this society when we have someone so clearly out of control? Because of their "rights" we can't just lock them away so they can't harm someone, can we?

:(

[Grins]

Well..... I've been waiting! http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g258/PatC_pics/smilies/foot_tapping.gif

I finally gave up on you and found a new partner!

http://vintagedancers.org/images/50dancer_b.jpg

:67302:
see,,,,,I was saving up for our coffee after,,,

:s1gyahoo:

[Grins]

I've watched some of the unfolding Britney Spears drama this morning and one question this case does bring up. Is there no way to force her into some kind of treatment program before one of those children (or someone else) is seriously harmed?

What do we do in this society when we have someone so clearly out of control? Because of their "rights" we can't just lock them away so they can't harm someone, can we?

:(
Most states allow compulsory treatment for a reasonable time if a doctor testifies that the person is presently a "danger to herself or others."

Look at her life before success and we see what the grind of that success can contribute to a perhaps already troubled young person. Not many adults can take the pressures. Everyone advises you in a way that makes them money and none cares for the star personally.

Sadly we see others following in her footsteps don't we?

What is the answer?

[Grins]

ANGER

"Why Am I So Angry?
Control your thoughts

Three Types Of Anger

Rage is the expression of violent, uncontrolled anger. Rage is an outward expression of anger and can result in a visible, often destructive, explosion. If Lucille (in example 1) took the plate she had in her hand and threw it against the wall causing it to break into pieces as a reaction to her husband's suggestion, this behavior would exhibit rage.

Resentment is the feeling of anger directed towards a person or object which is suppressed and kept inside. It is a feeling which smolders and feels uncomfortable, and can possibly create more physiological and psychological damage. If John (in example 4) listened to his mother's comment but did not respond by explaining the reality to her, he would harbor feelings of resentment.

Indignation is regarded as appropriate, controlled, positive type of anger. Though Susan felt like screaming when the doctor's office canceled her appointment (in example 2), she calmly told the secretary she was disappointed but understood and rescheduled the appointment. The three types of anger can occur separately or in combination, depending on the situation. With an understanding of the different types of anger, it may become easier to deal with situations which provoke these feelings.

Angry Thoughts

Anger exists in the mind and is a direct result of your thoughts. An event does not make you angry, but your interpretation of the event and how you think and feel can lead to anger. Certain things can be done to make the feelings of anger more controllable and manageable.

Step 1- Admit you are angry. Recognizing that you are angry is the first step in dealing with it. Some people find it difficult to admit they are angry perhaps because they view their feelings as inappropriate or not valid. These people may deny their feelings therefore choosing not to deal with them.

Step 2- Identify the source of the anger. Realizing what is causing you to feel angry is important in dealing with the real problem. Often the real problem can be confused with other issues or other emotions. In example 1, is Lucille truly angry with her husband or is she angry because her illness is an interference in her daily routine? If Lucille is misdirecting her anger at her husband rather than the true source, the problem becomes compounded.

Step 3 - Feeling angry?.....Why? Recognizing the reason for your feelings of anger is an important step in dealing with the anger. After analyzing the reasons, you will decide in your mind if the anger is reasonable or justifiable. If you decide the anger is unrealistic you can diffuse the feelings. If you decide the anger is realistic, you can better decide how to deal with your feelings.

Controlling Anger

There are techniques which can help you control your thoughts and in turn control your anger..."

_____What do you think?
How can we use this to better our lives and deter assaults?

Great site here:
http://www.angermanagementseminar.com/articles/why_am_i_so_angry.html

[judyh007]

Hello! I am an adult survivor of an alcoholic family. I am writing a research paper regarding alateen. I am hoping to hear from some adults who as children, living in an alcoholic environment, were a part of Alateen. I would especially like to know if you have every done anything to help the alateen organization, such as mentoring a child, or anything of that nature. I would also be interested in hearing how alateen affected your life and if it helped you be a better adult/parent....

Thank you in advance!
:howdy:

[animallady]

My father was an alcoholic. However, I grew up in a small southern town in the 1950s and graduated from high school in 1966. By the time I was in high school, there was an AA group there, but no Al-Anon or Alateen. I don't know if the two even existed yet. Lo. I'm old! Given the subject matter of your paper, I doubt that I can help you. If I can just let me know.

:happy0207:

[Grins]

Hello! I am an adult survivor of an alcoholic family. I am writing a research paper regarding alateen. I am hoping to hear from some adults who as children, living in an alcoholic environment, were a part of Alateen. I would especially like to know if you have every done anything to help the alateen organization, such as mentoring a child, or anything of that nature. I would also be interested in hearing how alateen affected your life and if it helped you be a better adult/parent....

Thank you in advance!
:howdy:
HELLO AND WELCOME JUDY!!
:howdy:
Glad you have joined us!
No alateen contact but have attended al-anon meetings.
Have you attended any alateen meetings?

[rockford2]

Hello! I am an adult survivor of an alcoholic family. I am writing a research paper regarding alateen. I am hoping to hear from some adults who as children, living in an alcoholic environment, were a part of Alateen. I would especially like to know if you have every done anything to help the alateen organization, such as mentoring a child, or anything of that nature. I would also be interested in hearing how alateen affected your life and if it helped you be a better adult/parent....

Thank you in advance!
:howdy:


Hi Judy!!

Let me try to answer your questions... just no :000a1: for what I have to say, please. I AM A SURVIVOR.

First my Dad drank and came home drunk all the time. He was a mean drunk and used to beat my mom, myself and my younger sister. I think because of all of the drama and the life my mother envisioned for herself did not materialize, SHE started to drink. It all came to a vicious circle in 1978. By 1979, I was a wreck and only 16 years old. I found out about the man who started Al-Anon and made a lot of phone calls, trying to find help for my Mom, and found out about Alateen. I cannot say that it saved my life, because *I* could only do that.

I did learn about 'breaking the chain' and to this day, neither I nor my sister drinks.

I have helped MANY people, including interventions. I don't have much of a good record in being able to help others, but I know in my heart that they can only help themselves, and I can only lead them in the right direction.

My mother has slipped up many times and it's gotten to the point that I need to turn my back on her; she needs to call her sponser and get HERSELF together.

I wish to God that i never had to deal with alcoholism as it's been a hell of a life, but God knows it's made me a stronger person.

[Grins]

Rockford, you are also a healer and I appreciate you.
Because of you I feel it is time to tell my story here.
Thank you.
Bless you.

I am proud of you!

:love0085::love0085::1222423::1222423:

[Grins]

On September 23, 1996, I planned to kill myself. This is the story of my "Wrong Number Miracle."


MY 'WRONG NUMBER' MIRACLE"

September 23, 1996, a hopeless alcoholic and now
homeless, I borrowed money and checked into a hotel to
commit suicide. Tired but at peace, I lay on the bed
and fell asleep. Waking and a bit groggy, though I was
sober, something inside told me to call my
psychiatrist. Dialing the number I knew well, having no
idea what to say, I got a "wrong number."

For a reason unknown to me then, I said I was trying
to contact Dr. B_. She said: "Well, this is not his
office but...you won't believe this... he happens to
be standing right here by my desk!"

Right then, my life changed.
I knew I had received a miracle from God
and would recover.
The Doctor was as amazed as I was
that I had reached him; I told him the truth.

He arranged for me to the enter
the Suicide Unit of the hospital.
En route, God spoke to my heart:
"Be honest; do what you learn; you deserve
to live and be happy;
I love you just as you are, unconditionally.
Your life was saved by a miracle of God, so tell
others about it; and I have work for you in the
hospital."

After a few days into my recovery from the major
depression and alcoholism which had plagued my life so
many years, a young woman, very upset, was admitted
and walked down the hall toward me. I knew I was to
talk to her so I waited and she walked right up to me
and asked: "How did you get here?"
So, I told her my story. As I did, she stopped shaking
and crying, smiled and at the end laughed and hugged me and said,
"You had a miracle!" I nodded and grinned.
Looking wonderingly, she asked: "Do you think God
would do a miracle for me too?" I said: "I am sure of it."

Some other young patients came by and I introduced her
and they swooped her up for a card game to her great
delight; and mine; and His.
She did so well she was released before I was!

The miracles continue for me each day without a drink, a
cigarette or a day of depression. This after 30 years
of worsening depression and alcoholism, with 3
hospitalizations and rehabs, divorce, bankruptcy,
homelessness, hunger and despair.

My college and law degrees,
successful law practice, will power,
learning, wisdom, intelligence, friends, family all
were insufficient to help me as I lost everything.

When I was at the end, my decision was made to die, as
I could not live with the pain and guilt one more day.
After I thought about what had happened to save my
life, the realization that the odds against me
"accidentally" dialing a wrong number, to a telephone
on a desk where my doctor just happened to be standing
as he went from one place to another in a huge medical
complex, were so great that only intervention by a God
who loves me could have arranged it.

No big theological or intellectual or scientific
inquiry here.

I knew what had happened to me.
These years proved it was God doing his
part and I doing my part.
It is like falling in love;
I have my part and my love has a part to make it work!

What I discovered is, when I turn to God, he runs to
welcome me, hug me and love me. He forgives me and
helps to heal me.

A key to my healing was appropriate medication and a
good therapist who helped me dig out the old angers,
rages, and self-hatred buried deep in me ; some since
childhood.
Deep down, I did not believe I deserved to be happy or even to live.
As I wrote, spoke and unloaded these hurts,
I observed a change in me.

I was not depressed! I had hope. I was happy!

Happy now, I am free to love and receive love.
I have all I need and a home here and a perfect one waiting for me when I die.
That is enough for me.

So, my question is answered regarding to whom I go for
all things in my life; I am excited about this world now and very
excited
about what God has in store for me for all eternity!!

Common sense suggests I ask:
How can I be happy in my present life?

What will happen to me, the real thinking, feeling,
knowing ME when I die?

Does what I do, what I think, and how I act in my life
have any bearing upon my condition after I die?

If I do not ask, if I ignore these questions and do as
I please, I alone run the great risk of what happens
to me now and after I die.
I do not want to miss the most exciting adventure of
my life=which will come after my life in this body is
over. (Wonder what my new perfect body will look
like!)

I choose to live as my God leads me to because
he is smarter than I am...

With Love~for my dear friends and family~
you have added to my happiness and healing.
You are in my prayers and my heart always and leave me with

Grins

[Serenity]

Grins
Thanks for sharing your experience, strength, and hope.
Your story is amazing!

[Grins]

Grins
Thanks for sharing your experience, strength, and hope.
Your story is amazing!Every day I am grateful for my life and a place to live and food.
Being homeless and hungry 11 years ago makes me appreciate basics.

[Serenity]

Every day I am grateful for my life and a place to live and food.
Being homeless and hungry 11 years ago makes me appreciate basics.

Never forgetting where you came from and how you got to your bottom is a daily reminder: if I don't drink today-I won't get drunk today.

Last week when I stopped by the recovery gift store for my sponsor's gift I picked up a copy of: A Program For You-- A guide to the Bog Book's design for living. What a great read! I am taking part of today off to spend time with this book. So far--good reading and I am happy with this purchase.

[Grins]

Never forgetting where you came from and how you got to your bottom is a daily reminder: if I don't drink today-I won't get drunk today.

Last week when I stopped by the recovery gift store for my sponsor's gift I picked up a copy of: A Program For You-- A guide to the Bog Book's design for living. What a great read! I am taking part of today off to spend time with this book. So far--good reading and I am happy with this purchase.
Keep us posted.
You are so helpful and positive Serenity, you lift spirits and we sure need that.
Glad you have joined us.

[DownRiver65]

That is one amazing journey Grins and I'm certainly glad it turned out the way it did. After all of that, I'd be using "Grins" as my screen name as well.

I spent several decades doing large quantities of everything but I was one of the fortunate ones that somehow managed to function and in fact my law practice thrived while I was packing away 15 or 20 Heinikens, large quantities of Coke and Crank, weed and anything else you can think of. I truly believe the problem was, I was so good I thought I was bullet proof and I literally could win a trial on auto pilot. Then, 18 years ago, my perfect specimen of a body (6'2" 265 pounds rock solid) decided it had enough abuse and I dropped dead of a massive heart attack barely over 40. Fortunately, I did it right in front of a doctor and he got me jump started. Got my attention!!! Don't get me wrong, I still certainly tend to live life in the fast lane and wouldn't have it any other way. I've just done it drug and alcohol free for the past 18 years. The strangest thing I've found is it wasn't the drugs and booze that fueled me.... according to Mrs. River and all my friends, I'm just flat out nuts.

Anyway, I digress as usual. The point is you can live a great life without being bombed out of your mind and it's a lot of fun. I'm guessing it's even sweeter when you come through a dark trip like our friend Grins did. Well, since I am nuts, I have now done something straight more times than I did it high!!! This summer my brothers and I celebrated the 35th anniversary of the first time we dove off a 90 foot quarry ledge bombed out of our heads. Did it on my 60th birthday and now I've done it 18 times clean and sober and 17 times higher than a kite!!!

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u225/Downriver65/brownstone06.jpg

[Peace/allaboutfair]

Wow! Lots of new members here. I really admire the courage and the love and caring that is here on this thread in support of each other! I toast my water with a slice of lemon to you all! It's my favorite drink!

[Grins]

River, my friend, congratulations on your recovery. Not all learn from a scary event but you made a decision: to live sober.
Isn't it a hoot that life is more fun this way?
I thought I would never enjoy a picnic again. Wrong.
I caught myself laughing at the stupid acts of drunks, then...oooooops...there was I.....not so long ago.

[Grins]

Wow! Lots of new members here. I really admire the courage and the love and caring that is here on this thread in support of each other! I toast my water with a slice of lemon to you all! It's my favorite drink!
Hi dear Peace!
Our thanks and admiration for starting it all; and the encouragement of drip~drop and WendyRN.

[DownRiver65]

River, my friend, congratulations on your recovery. Not all learn from a scary event but you made a decision: to live sober.
Isn't it a hoot that life is more fun this way?
I thought I would never enjoy a picnic again. Wrong.
I caught myself laughing at the stupid acts of drunks, then...oooooops...there was I.....not so long ago.

No doubt about it Grins. I have more fun sober than I ever did tuned. Plus, the next day I actually remember what I did!!! We are two of the lucky ones and can count our blessings. :zm10:

[Grins]

No doubt about it Grins. I have more fun sober than I ever did tuned. Plus, the next day I actually remember what I did!!! We are two of the lucky ones and can count our blessings. :zm10:
Yes we can DR and I do each day. We know many who died needlessly. Good people who were addicted and never intended it or any of the harm that resulted.
There should be a written agreement required first:
Agreement for Slavery and Pain and Early Death.

Just so you know...

[DownRiver65]

Grins, I have a friend who I grew up with and was in several bands with way back when. This guy had an IQ pushing 180 and was brilliant as an artist and a musician. He was hired by a Fortune 100 company to run their art department at the age of 23, he was that good. At the same time we were recording on a major label and pumping out one hit after another.

I lost touch with him for about 20 years and it blew me away when I saw him. He was living in a room above a bar and selling cars for a living because that's all he could do. Between the drugs and booze his IQ was probably 100 if he was lucky and his liver was shot. It's amazing he's still alive. We have a common friend who's a doctor and he got him into one program after another but the guy just could not get the monkey off his back. This was a gentleman that should have ended up a millionaire and instead is a bum essentially.

That's why you and I are lucky we got straight when we did. Even when I was drinking and doing drugs, for some reason I could just quit for weeks on end and flush my system. I think that's what saved my bacon. It also made it easy to quit for good when I wanted to because I knew I didn't have the alcoholic gene and the drugs were purely recreational and no problem to walk away from.

Having a friend that's an alcoholic drilled home exactly how tough it is for them to get straight and stay straight. It's also why they have to take one day of sobriety at a time and can never have just one beer like I did Sunday with my lobster and then walk away for 6 months and never think about having another. Count your blessings Grins. We've been shot at and hit, so to speak, but came out of it in one piece my friend.

[Grins]

DR that is so sad. For such a long time alcoholics and addicts were considered 'bad people.'
They are not when they start to drink or drug. It happens as we see to every kind of person.
Addiction so takes over your life, you may turn to crime to support it. Unless you decide to stop you will surely lose all and die a bitter death.
For what?
There is help. I got help and I am happy and healthy for 11 years now.

Yes, we are among the lucky ones DR. So many are lost.

[rockford2]

Wow! Lots of new members here. I really admire the courage and the love and caring that is here on this thread in support of each other! I toast my water with a slice of lemon to you all! It's my favorite drink!

I commend ALL of you!! Even though I never drank, (nor did drugs) I think the world of everyone who is strong enough to walk away from booze and drugs. :1222423:

[DownRiver65]

I commend ALL of you!! Even though I never drank, (nor did drugs) I think the world of everyone who is strong enough to walk away from booze and drugs. :1222423:


But keep in mind Rockford, we also were stupid enough to start doing it also. We were just the lucky ones that survived that bad move. You were the smart one by not starting my friend.:0012:

[Sumanadevii]

I grew up in a home filled with drugs/alcohol abuse. As a very young girl, I decided I would never ever touch the stuff. In fact, I was so careful that I would not even take doctor medicine. Well, don't you know as a young mother a friend told me the "trick" to calming down before my husband arrived home from work...a glass of wine! Wine was never part of the alcohol scene of my birth home. I began taking a little glass. Then I began to think...just a little when the kids are in bed and hubby is tucked in...and don't you know, I had those genes. I woke up the day my son (at age 3) got on top of me while I was sleeping and poured a glass of red koolaid over my face....It was the best wakeup call any alcoholic could wish. I have never returned and hope to never again. It is true an alcohol is an alcohol and it does run in families.

[Grins]

I grew up in a home filled with drugs/alcohol abuse. As a very young girl, I decided I would never ever touch the stuff. In fact, I was so careful that I would not even take doctor medicine. Well, don't you know as a young mother a friend told me the "trick" to calming down before my husband arrived home from work...a glass of wine! Wine was never part of the alcohol scene of my birth home. I began taking a little glass. Then I began to think...just a little when the kids are in bed and hubby is tucked in...and don't you know, I had those genes. I woke up the day my son (at age 3) got on top of me while I was sleeping and poured a glass of red koolaid over my face....It was the best wakeup call any alcoholic could wish. I have never returned and hope to never again. It is true an alcohol is an alcohol and it does run in families.
Well said and absolutely true Sumanadevii!!
Bless your son for having the inspiration and love to help you; at 3 y/o yet!!
A miracle.

I had a relapse the same way after years of sobriety.
"Oh, a small glass of wine can't hurt."
Soon, I was in a rehab.
Alcoholism runs in my family. Our brains do not process alcohol as do healthy brains. It is now preoen medical fact. So we were born alcoholics.

You decided to quit. You did quit.You got you back.
Well done!

[Grins]

My relationship with my adult kids is good but still a bit distant since my crash which affected them and many I love.
For some reason, yesterday I emailed them the URL for the long-standing Survivors of Suicide and Survivors of Alcoholism threads at Open Court so that they could read and understand more about me and my recovery process these last 11 years.

I hope it helps in healing further our bonds.

Sooooo, I would surely appreciate it if any of you who wish would post over there from time to time so we keep it going as I make amends.
Thanks, my friends.

:love0085:

[Sumanadevii]

You decided to quit. You did quit.You got you back.
Well done!

You know the drill Grins...If I am around alcohol (and this is 30 years later), I still want it. I didn't drink because I enjoyed it...I don't know that I even liked the taste. I want and crave it because of the high I could get. That little miracle of mine grew up (along with his brothers) and married. On his wedding day ..in my honor...he turned his champaign glass upside down. I was a lucky one. My baby sister was dead at 16 high and drunk. She drove into a tree. I watched my parents and step parents...Nope, I didn't want to go there. Without it all, I don't know that I would have backed away. Sometimes there are blessings in horror.

Each day brings a new dawn, Grins. Keep working at it. Alcoholism isn't for sissies!

[Grins]

You know the drill Grins...If I am around alcohol (and this is 30 years later), I still want it. I didn't drink because I enjoyed it...I don't know that I even liked the taste. I want and crave it because of the high I could get. That little miracle of mine grew up (along with his brothers) and married. On his wedding day ..in my honor...he turned his champaign glass upside down. I was a lucky one. My baby sister was dead at 16 high and drunk. She drove into a tree. I watched my parents and step parents...Nope, I didn't want to go there. Without it all, I don't know that I would have backed away. Sometimes there are blessings in horror.

Each day brings a new dawn, Grins. Keep working at it. Alcoholism isn't for sissies! What a story Sumanadevii, my friend!
My heart breaks for your little sister. So young. That could have been me.
Happily I have no craving for alcohol these 11 years; I have had some for cigs at times long ago.
Now I am free of both=one day at a time...

[Grins]

Triggers

Looking back, I see that when I got angry, it was a dangerous time for me as an alcoholic.
I felt justified in hitting a bar and having a pity party. Of course, there was always a guy there to sympathize and tell of the outrages against him too.

It is a key to recovery for me to look back at my behavior to see triggers and to be ever alert at such times now and have ready a safe way to handle anger in a healthy way.

A 12 step sponsor provides such a safe outlet.

[Grins]

Thanks to all my friends who posted at OC! I love you guys!!

[Grins]

When I asked myself why I got so angry at a guy who yelled at me, I looked for patterns in my past.

Every time I was criticized, I reacted way beyond what was called for; I was crushed.
Soon, I saw it was because of my unhealthy belief that my worth and hope for success and love depended entirely upon my achievements.

No wonder I was always an over-achiever and never satisfied that I had done enough.

To change my thinking and feelings I had to change the belief which drove them. So I now believe:
=my worth comes from God; I deserve love because I am; I deserve success and I will have it if I ask God for advice and follow it.

Unless I change all my unhealthy and false beliefs I will repeat my destructive thinking, feelings and behavior.

[FLYSODA]

when I was in my 30's, I used to go to the corner store and buy a half rack of coors light. go home and drink almost the whole thing. I'd run back to the store to get another one to replace the one I drank. then, hiding the beer cans was something else. I did this for a long time till I discovered wine in a box. I could drink as much as I wanted and pull the empty sack out of the bottom and replace it with water in a zip lock bag. so when my husband went to check it, it seemed full. my SIL was into crank. she got me going on it. I didn't do it very long. I could see the people were skanky. and I didn't want to be a part of that. plus my husband would kill me. but I'd get all my yard work done. clean the house, make dinner and everyone would eat by 6:00 PM.
I didn't think I was doing any harm to anyone. I just needed to get to the store and pick up 2 boxes of wine. one to hide and one to put in the fridge. I'd hide the boxes or burn them in the fireplace. when garbage day came, I put all the boxes in a black lawn and leaf sack. so no one would see them. this went on for sometime. My husband started to complain about my drinking. I'd say, I don't drink that much! Your house is clean, the laundry is done. the grass is cut. your dinner is ready! what are you complaining about? He'd just scratch his head and walk away. one night he took my box of wine out of the fridge. I had plastic water in it. he turned it up side down and took the water out. I just stood there. BUSTED! He asked me if I wanted to talk about this. and I was still speechless. embarrassed. a liar. a sneak. a betrayer. I stood alone with nothing to say but the truth. I first told him about the beer. He said he knew that. then I told him how I faked the wine. He said it took him a while to figure that one out till an employee told him his wife would put water in her box. So, I confessed to all of it. My husband told me he was afraid I was turning into an alcoholic. and worried every day he went to work. Needless to say, I never bought another beer or a box of wine.I turned my drinking to diet cream soda for years, now I just drink water. but I look back at pictures and I'm always holding a glass of wine or a beer. those were my drinking years. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the 30's

[Grins]

FLY!
A tough road but good for you!

It was how we planned our day around how and when we would drink; how to hide the evidence; how to try to act sober and how to defend if we were caught, namely, look at all I do....
Yes, I did that too.

How scary it is now to see how we had given up our freedom! We were slaves and never knew it; ready to jeopardize marriage and all=for what?

Today, I thank God for setting me free.

[FLYSODA]

your right Grins, alcohol is one big lie!

[PatC]

DH has started leaving his beer in a cooler in the back of his pickup. .. even though we have a small fridge that we got just for his beer. I guess he doesn't want me to see how much he's going through ....

[Grins]

How glad I am that I get through the holidays without a drink; it was always an excuse and approved of; as was every social gathering a drinking excuse as I grew up.

[FLYSODA]

I have something to say about abuse. Since I've been laid up with these kidney stones I been resting a lot. My thoughts have turned violent. fantasies. I was raised in hell. if I looked the wrong way I got my front teeth knock out. and I did, 3 times. not to mention several broken bones, having my hand stabbed with a fork for accidently putting an elbow on the table. I never knew when it was going to come. but it always did. and usually everyday. after being abandond by my mother in another state on a corner as I watched her drive off. I was homeless and on my own. I met people who took what I had in my small suitcase away from me. till I had nothing. so when I got a job I made sure they had uniforms so that I'd have something to wear. as I climbed out of my hole and got better jobs, I met and married my hub. I worked night shifts at a chi chis restaurant as bar manager. last to leave. except for the nerd in the office. as I was walking out the back doors, I stopped to put out a cig and heard a gust of wind and before I knew it I had a gun cocked and pointed at my head. 2 guys in camo gear grabbed me and drug me by the neck to the managers office where the nerd was. I said to him, Paul! he looked up and laughed. thinking it was a joke. I got hit in the side of the head with the butt of the gun to show him it wasn't a joke. after they robbed us they locked us in a storage room which happen to have a phone in it. and we called the cops. I called my husband to explain to him why I wasn't home yet. and I cried a little bit. the police came and we wrote out our statements. I was numb and did what they said. one of the cops was young and new. while he was off duty he went into a red robin and sat at the bar and told the people in the bar that he thought the girl bartender had set up the robbery cause she wasn't showing emotion or crying. but I had a bloody head! the rumor spread fast and I had detectives at my house. checking to see if I had bought anything new. I showed the detective the cut on my temple from getting hit by the butt of the gun. and he says, why didn't you say you got hit? and I said, why didn't that cop that started the rumor see the blood on my white dress shirt and on my face? I told him that the cop ruined my reputation on a lie. and went to a bar got drunk and told everyone. I left chi chis after that. a knock on my door came 3 weeks later with a certified letter telling me they caught the men and needed me to point them out. I showed up. surprisingly there were other people I knew from other restaurants there. the men had robbed 7 places that night alone. I was dismissed. I went to the mall one afternoon and did some major shopping and it was close to dusk when I got to my car. I had several bags. I was fumbling for my keys when 3 guys covered me so fast I didn't have time to think. they were trying to take my bags and my leather back pack off me. I tried fighting back as I watched one of my bags go flying through the air. I kicked and yelled and one guy slugged me in the mouth. by chance someone was walking to their car and the guys took off. I got up off the ground and got my sack of stuff and gathered up my stuff and got in my car and went home. I called security at the mall and told them what happened and that they need security outside the mall. then I went in the bathroom and checked my lip out. it was all fat and bloody. then one time I went in for a job interview. I got to the front desk and was expecting to meet the manager and a snippy girl just hands me an application. so I left. there was a dive bar next to the place and a man walked out after I walked by. for some reason I became really scared of him and quickend my step. and so did he. I was panicing by this time, and he was gaining on me. I looked behind me and he was most definatly coming after me. and the parking area was in a place u could get killed and no one would know. I got to my car and he came up to me and I got on my knees to plead for my life and he took out a gun and told me to open my mouth, I had tears rolling down my face and thinking why me? and he put the gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger. and nothing happened. he turned around and walked off. I got in my car and drove to Garts sports center and went to their gun department and bought myself a 380 Barretta. I make my own bullets and make sure my clip is full at all times. I leave one in the chamber with the safty off. I carry that in my leather back pack now. and I put it in the side pocket of my car while driving. I drove to San Francisco to see my good friend and we were to meet at this thai restaurant. I was so busy looking for this place in such a large city that before I knew it a man had opened my passenger door got in and told me to drive while holding a knife to my throat. he wanted me to make a right handed turn up ahead and started getting excited when he thought I might miss the light. it turned yellow just in time for me to slip my hand in the pocket of my side door and bring my gun out. I pressed it hard to his forehead and screamed at him to get out of my car. his eyes were so big and he was so scared. he was begging me not to shoot him and I was screaming at him to get out of my car. he got out real fast leaving his knife behind. I had to turn around and find my way where I was going and finally found the restaurant. I was high
for the rest of the day. I'm 5' 104 lbs. I don't know what it is about me. but I get robbed a lot. I'm alone all day. I don't go out. but I been getting this feeling lately. Like my house has been cased. and I'm gonna be on the front page of the news. I've worked out what I'll do when they come in. I'll run back to my bedroom and lock the door. I got a 9 mm and my 380. back there. if they break down my bedroom door I have no choice but to shoot. I can't believe I just wrote all this. but I'm not going to be a victim the rest of my living days. I've told no one how I feel. they will just say I'm paranoid.

[FLYSODA]

sorry for my last post. I know that most of you don't know or want to respond to that post. I'm used to it. I didn't mean to stop your alcohol recovery thread you had going. but the topic also has "abuse" in it. I'm sorry for writing it. just ignore it and go about your talking. don't stop the thread because of my post.

[PatC]

:0012: Hi, Fly.... and anybody else....

I read your post yesterday and I was so moved I really didn't know what to say without saying something really dumb -- which I'm sure I've done before and will again, but wanted to try to avoid this time.

You already know my opinion of your "mother", so I won't go into that again.

I think one reason your post affected me so much is that to a lesser degree my younger son suffers the same fate. No, I never did the kinds of things your mom did, but he just seems to be a magnet for bad luck. Without going into too many details, let me just say he can never seem to get ahead..... hell, the poor guy can never seem to even break even.

He's one of the hardest working people you'll ever meet but I've lost count of the number of jobs he's had where the guy(s) he worked for ran out without paying him -- or not paying him everything they owe him. He's been burned with oil from a deep fryer in a restaurant, hit by high voltage electricity, had his ear almost cut off (successfully reattached by plastic surgeon however) in a car accident -- just to name a few problems.

There are some other things that happened to him that I don't feel I should post because they are very personal and after all, they're HIS story.

The only reason I have told this much is to explain that your post affected me deeply and I would love to be able to just grab you and give you a big hug and comfort you, but I can't. But, by the same token, I don't "pity" you. You're too strong a person to want my (or anyone else's) pity and I won't insult you that way.

I think your record of recovery from the kinds of abuse you've experienced is awe inspiring and... maybe a little intimidating because I don't know that I could have done even 1/10th as well.

I think that instead of Flysoda, your nic should be Timex -- you take a lickin' but just keep on tickin'

You go girl -- you're one of my heros. You're the picture of COURAGE like

this (http://wanagiyata2englisch.punt.nl/upload/COURAGE.jpg)


I started to embed the photo but.... well..... you'll see.

You keep talking to us Fly. Don't give up on us and we won't give up on you -- I promise.

[Cat]

Pat C: "I think your record of recovery from the kinds of abuse you've experienced is awe inspiring and... maybe a little intimidating because I don't know that I could have done even 1/10th as well.

I think that instead of Flysoda, your nic should be Timex -- you take a lickin' but just keep on tickin'

You go girl -- you're one of my heros. You're the picture of COURAGE"

I had to just quote this part of your post, because you said it so well. I feel that way about Fly, also. She is a survivor, a wonderful person, and I love her (although I haven't had the pleasure of meeting her in person).

To you :love0085: and to FLY :love0085:

[Grins]

FLY, we always want you to post what is on your heart at the time. That is why I am here. You see it in my posts.
This is recovery family=let it rip.

When I dwelt on the past and worried about the future, I was sick now.
I forgave and let go the past and I was free.
The future, I ask God to show me one step at a time.

[FLYSODA]

thanks pat, cat, and Grins.........
I appreciate all your support. I was feeling real creepy about this post. I frantically wrote it out. I was triggered by a movie that was on tv about a woman who got robbed at gun point and shot in the head in a parking garage. it just brought my heart to beating fast, my hands sweating, panic setting in. so I grabbed my laptop and wrote. I've nicknamed myself the " Butthole Magnet." if they are out there, I attract them. and Pat, I love the timex saying.....lol I always bounce back. but usually a little more disturbed. I have myself quite the jack knife collection too. I don't think I'd ever use a knife on anyone cause it would be taken away and used on me. with a gun they back right off no matter what your size. I'm going in may and get a licsence to carry my gun and have it in my car legally. you have to take a course and learn how to shoot and put together your gun, which I already know how to do. but I know this sounds weird, but when I'm packing, no one bothers me. ever. and my mind is at peace. I've learned a lot of ways to stay safe. I never answer my door. I don't care who it is. my kids have keys. If I don't get phone call first saying your coming over, I won't answer the door. I don't answer my phone either. unless I know who is on the other end. I have a talking phone. and I only go places during the day. I've just been a victim more times then I think nessecary. and I didn't even write about all of the times. just a few. and each time I thought I was going to be raped. but they just wanted money and usually hurt me in the process. except the guy that put his gun in my mouth. He did mental damage to me. did he think there was a bullet left in his gun? or did he know it was empty? I'll never forget his face. but I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I find getting robbed or being held hostage a big form of abuse. I can't open a door at night without listening for that wind sound. I look over my shoulder a lot. I make sure my car is unlocked when I get to it. I try and park close to the store. I try and stay safe. and that's all I can do. thanks for sharing pat. that meant a great deal to me. I hope your son is better now. after all this happened to me. I didn't leave my house for 5 years. I went to a High Priestess to get rid of the bad energy that caused people to gravitate towards me. and she took me in this room and had me lay on this massage table and relax. and she did shockra work on me and burned some sage in the room as she said a prayer. and then I just laid there for a few moments and she said we were done. and since then, I haven't had any attacks. I know, a little strange, but my therapist had me go to her. sometimes things will work without a pill. but thanks pat, cat, and grins...............fly

[PatC]

No thanks necessary, Fly..... we love you and like Grins said.... we are all family here. Your "recovery family".

Love ya
Pat

[Grins]

For wisdom I ask God. He is smarter than I am; slightly older too.

:D

[Grins]

12 step programs help those who live with an alcoholic to deal with everyone in the family.

Call your local United Way for a referral. I have been helped and wish I had AlAnon or AlAteen when I was growing up.

[Grins]

Alcoholics Anonymous is a miracle!

[Grins]

The Twelve Steps

From Buddy T,
Your Guide to Alcoholism.

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by Steven Gans, MD

A Guide Toward an Entire New Way of Life
The Twelve Steps, originated by Alcoholics Anonymous, is the spritual foundation for personal recovery from the effects of alcoholism, not only for the alcoholic, but also for their friends and family in Al-Anon Family Groups.

Many members of 12-step recovery programs have found that these steps were not merely a way to stop drinking, but they became a guide toward a new way of life.

Over a six-month period, visitors to the Alcoholism site participated in a study of the 12 steps and 12 traditions by sharing their experience, strength, and hope on the bulletin board. Their stories provide great insight into how they have applied the priniciples in their lives. Below are links to their study of the 12 steps. The index for the study of the 12 traditions is on this page...."

http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info/a/aa981021.htm

[London Lass]

I have had to give up drinking purely because of the prescription medication I am on - I do miss the occasional drink, but I was never a big drinker!

My sister on the other hand, has been an alcoholic for over 20 years - she has ended up in hospital several times in the last couple of years, and signed herself out everytime. She is one of those people who won't accept help, and as with other addictions, you can't help someone unless they are willing to help themselves. She is now a horrible yellow colour, and a doctor friend has told us that her liver is giving in - don't know what else to say about that!

I joined AL ANON for a while, to see if they could help me help her, but that particular programme was no good for me.

Congrats to all of you who have kicked your various habits!

[Ross]

I have had to give up drinking purely because of the prescription medication I am on - I do miss the occasional drink, but I was never a big drinker!

My sister on the other hand, has been an alcoholic for over 20 years - she has ended up in hospital several times in the last couple of years, and signed herself out everytime. She is one of those people who won't accept help, and as with other addictions, you can't help someone unless they are willing to help themselves. She is now a horrible yellow colour, and a doctor friend has told us that her liver is giving in - don't know what else to say about that!

I joined AL ANON for a while, to see if they could help me help her, but that particular programme was no good for me.

Congrats to all of you who have kicked your various habits!



A winner never quits & a quitter never wins & you London Lass are a winner.
Its sad that a lot of folks dont get help until they hit the bottom.I hope your sister gets straight soon,for as far as i know the liver can regenerate,repair itself sometimes.

[London Lass]

A winner never quits & a quitter never wins & you London Lass are a winner.
Its sad that a lot of folks dont get help until they hit the bottom.I hope your sister gets straight soon,for as far as i know the liver can regenerate,repair itself sometimes.

And that's why I adore you my lovely Ross...cos you make me smile! :zm10: (I hope you appreciate the irony of that particular smiley!)

It sounds awful, but my sister doesn't get to me that much any more - it used to upset us all, but it's almost like we are numb - with the exception of my mum, who thinks that she has failed - bless her...she hasn't!

The liver is an organ that regenerates, but it kind of needs a break to do that...we'll see!

[Ross]

And that's why I adore you my lovely Ross...cos you make me smile! :zm10: (I hope you appreciate the irony of that particular smiley!)

It sounds awful, but my sister doesn't get to me that much any more - it used to upset us all, but it's almost like we are numb - with the exception of my mum, who thinks that she has failed - bless her...she hasn't!

The liver is an organ that regenerates, but it kind of needs a break to do that...we'll see!


I know you just cant help but to adore me:)Serious i hope all works out.

[Grins]

London Lass, I am praying for your sister that she will 'get it' and decide to find that life is better sober. Prayer helped me when I was suicidal so it worked when I understood what happened to me.

Glad you are with us and hope for a good report soon~

Thank you Ross for your support.

[Grins]

My therapist tells me I am a lot funnier sober and I no longer write upside down on his checks.

:s1gyahoo:

[London Lass]

London Lass, I am praying for your sister that she will 'get it' and decide to find that life is better sober. Prayer helped me when I was suicidal so it worked when I understood what happened to me.

Glad you are with us and hope for a good report soon~

Thank you Ross for your support.

Thank you Grins!

Although I have worked with people who have had various addictions, it seems very different when it's a member of your immediate family!

I know Ross from another site, and although we disagree on most discussion points, he is the salt of the earth, and I love him to bits...don't tell him though will you! :girl_haha:

[Ross]

Thank you Grins!

Although I have worked with people who have had various addictions, it seems very different when it's a member of your immediate family!

I know Ross from another site, and although we disagree on most discussion points, he is the salt of the earth, and I love him to bits...don't tell him though will you! :girl_haha:

:attention::zm10:

[Grins]

Thank you Grins!

Although I have worked with people who have had various addictions, it seems very different when it's a member of your immediate family!

I know Ross from another site, and although we disagree on most discussion points, he is the salt of the earth, and I love him to bits...don't tell him though will you! :girl_haha:...my lips are sealed.... :INhouseReading04:
:s1gyahoo: well, not quite=
My experience is the same London Lass; someone outside the family and often a most unlikely source finally gets through and the sufferer makes the decision for sobriety and freedom. Some receive intervention from a higher power as I did 11 years ago.
There is hope~

[Grins]

Belief>causes>Thinking>causes>Feelings>causes>Behavior
as applied to my life.

Before I began my recovery from alcoholism eleven years ago, I had the following:

Belief=I can control my drinking; after all I have accomplished much in my life. Working hard, I deserve a drink which I also need to relax.

Thinking: Don't tell me not to drink; I am a responsible adult. I just need to cut down or change to wine or beer and I can quit anytime. After all, I am not an alcoholic; they don't work and live under bridges.

Feelings: No wonder I get angry at myself when I get drunk; I hate it and it makes me sick. No more. No more. From now on, I watch. After blacking out last night, I am terrified. How did I get home?
All the time now I am afraid; of what I don't know. I need a small drink now to get me over this.

Behavior: I'll have another, then I will get on home.

[London Lass]

...my lips are sealed.... :INhouseReading04:
:s1gyahoo: well, not quite=
My experience is the same London Lass; someone outside the family and often a most unlikely source finally gets through and the sufferer makes the decision for sobriety and freedom. Some receive intervention from a higher power as I did 11 years ago.
There is hope~


You are great proof that there is hope - thank you!

[Grins]

Dr Janet Woititz writes from experience and has helped me a lot.
See her web site:

" Adult Children of Alcoholics
was originally written with only children of alcoholics in mind. Since its first publication, we have learned that the material discussed applies to other types of dysfunctional families as well.
If you did not grow up with alcoholism but lived, for example, with other compulsive behaviors such as gambling, drug abuse or overeating, or you experienced chronic illness or profound religious attitudes, or you were adopted, lived in foster care or another potentially dysfunctional systems, you may find that you identify with the characteristics described here.
It appears that much of what is true for the children of alcoholics is also true for others and that this understanding can help reduce the isolation of countless persons who also thought they were "different" because of their life experience.

Janet G. Woititz
Adult Children of Alcoholics - The Expanded Edition"

http://www.drjan.com/13char.html

[breezybidj]

:attention:hi i'm an alcoholic and my problem is breezy...i belong to a couple of sites on the internet that deal with recovery and i go to meetings; i believe in one addict/aloholic helping another... theres a new forum just starting up that's there for recovery people, but no one knows about it, and i told my friend i would spread the word... does anyone know how i would get her forum out there?:1222423:
thnx:basic45:

[Roamer]

Many people put a link to their favorite forum in their signature line, breezy.

[Grins]

:attention:hi i'm an alcoholic and my problem is breezy...i belong to a couple of sites on the internet that deal with recovery and i go to meetings; i believe in one addict/aloholic helping another... theres a new forum just starting up that's there for recovery people, but no one knows about it, and i told my friend i would spread the word... does anyone know how i would get her forum out there?:1222423:
thnx:basic45:Hello and Welcome Breezybidj!!
:0012: .... :love0085:
Just post the link here and say why you like it.

[London Lass]

Breezy...is the site you are talking about useful for those who have friends or family with addiction problems?

[Shotzie]

I have a 22 yr old grand daughter that has been a meth user. supposedly off for the last month. since she has to go to NA meetings and they test her due to court order.

She has been living with me for the last 2 weeks, I keep her busy working around the house and doing crafts for her sisters upcoming graduation party I am throwing.

Things have been pretty good, she wants to clear her skin since she has sores (claims they are from not bathing) Druggers think gramma's are stupid.

Anyhow got her to sunbathe which really is helping and daily showers with cocoa butter, and lots of vitamins.
I have told her the rules in my house since I am supporting her, she has no job always has a excuse why not. I will help take her to her court times, pick her up.(she got busted) get resumes out, hopefully get a job I will take and pick her up til she gets on her feet.
but told her I don't like her hanging out with her loser boyfriend another user, so yesterday she just walks out and said she will think about it? What's to think about either it's live with mean gramma or be a bum and go from house to house.

I am wits end, I would like to send her to a Dude Ranch 1000. miles from anywhere so she can do some hard work, cleaning stalls etc. But can't afford it.
Am I wrong to give her the " my way or the highway?"

Her parents are divorce and have gone thru hell with her so they have washed their hands mostly but do come thru in a lot of ways. Thought I would come to the rescue and fix all, but it is not happening. She is a great manipulator, smart as a whip, but dumb when it come to common sense . Sorry about babbling on but it does help to type my frustration out. I just retired and thought my life would be smooth sailing..That's a laugh.:girl_haha:
I will be checking to see if breezy will get that link.

[breezybidj]

well i am old no longer 22 but i know this time around i went to 3 meetings a day everyday and became completely immersed in AA...

last time i got sober i was for 6 1/2 years, but i wasn't in the program, and BOOM! just like that when i came out of my cave and got around the right (wrong) people, flipped that f*ckit switch (trigger) i was off and running back out there for 3 years...

now i have almost 11 months, and unfortunately i relocated so im not doing my 3 a day like i was, but im still involved. the new place i live is a whole different scene; most of these recovery people are kids...half my age. everybody here is in a clique. there aren't near as many meetings. you need to pay to be a member of their CLUB??? (there are no due or fees the only requirement is a desire to stop drinking)

i do like that they have speakers meetings here on friday and saturday nights, and i found 2 really cool meetings one on sunday at 7:30 am, and one on sunday night. unfortunately i can't get to either of those by bus, and i'm not in any of their cliques...so that's ok...i'm starting a new meeting here in the apartment complex where i live. there are people here who are in recovery and i know that recovery (especially for women) in this area needs a Kick in The A** that's why i decided to name the new group K.i.T.A....we are just waiting for permission from the big boss that actually runs the show here...

the thing about recovery is you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped and until they hit their bottom, they won't...

oh ~ i'm off topic the sites that i was talking about are online sites that have helped me and some of my friends. there are sites to have meetings online, there are sites where you can listen to and download AA speaker tapes, theres really good recovery stuff even on youtube...there are sites that i have made really good friends with people in australia and croatia (where is croatia?) that mean the world to me and have helped me through some stressful times since getting sober....really stressful stuff... real friends

i found so much of this stuff as part of my 11th step and didnt even realize i was doing that...this program has saved my life literally but i had to really use it and i couldnt stay sober without it

http://www.anonymousspace.com/albums/userpics/118753/Clip3.jpg:love0081::basic44::11_2_104:

[PatC]

<snipped>
i found so much of this stuff as part of my 11th step and didnt even realize i was doing that...this program has saved my life literally but i had to really use it and i couldnt stay sober without it

http://www.anonymousspace.com/albums/userpics/118753/Clip3.jpg:love0081::basic44::11_2_104:

Ummmm, Breezy, I think what we're looking for from you is a like to some of the sites you found, please.

[Grins]

Shotzie
Hello and Welcome!!
:basic44: //// :howdy:

Sad situation but you are doing right. Addicts must be accountable. Narcotics Anonymous can help her.

Nar-anon can help you know how do deal with her and help yourself under stress.

[Shotzie]

:mornincoffee:Thank you for your help.
Yesterday she just walked in and said she decided to stay, but of course she was sick with a cold or something..Her dad says as soon as she gets well she will split It is her MO> We will see. At least she knows my rules. I have a long list of things to do around my house to keep her busy.
With no car, she is kinda stuck..ha.ha.
and take a BUS..not even in her vocabulary.
Thanks again. One day at a time

Being a retired Bartender I have heard every WHoa is me story :cryintime:so all her BS flies over my head. THey think we are old an dumb..what a joke.


Shotzie
Hello and Welcome!!
:basic44: //// :howdy:

Sad situation but you are doing right. Addicts must be accountable. Narcotics Anonymous can help her.

Nar-anon can help you know how do deal with her and help yourself under stress.

[London Lass]

:mornincoffee:Thank you for your help.
Yesterday she just walked in and said she decided to stay, but of course she was sick with a cold or something..Her dad says as soon as she gets well she will split It is her MO> We will see. At least she knows my rules. I have a long list of things to do around my house to keep her busy.
With no car, she is kinda stuck..ha.ha.
and take a BUS..not even in her vocabulary.
Thanks again. One day at a time

Being a retired Bartender I have heard every WHoa is me story :cryintime:so all her BS flies over my head. THey think we are old an dumb..what a joke.

Although it's a different substance, the splitting bit sounds very similar to my sister. She falls apart, mum has her to stay (removes every last drop of alcohol in the house before-hand), but as soon as she feels up to it, she does a runner! Then when she eventually decides to call, and mum comments that she never even said goodbye, she ALWAYS says "didn't you get my voice-mail".

My birthday card from her this year had the envelope addressed to me, but the actual card was written to my boyfriend and son??????? People laugh about it, but it's sad!

I'm thinking of you Shotzie - it's one thing with a sister, but my mum really goes through the ringer when it comes to her oldest daughter...I think it's much tougher when it's your son/daughter.

[breezybidj]

sober sites:
http://www.addictiontribe.com
i like this one first, its like a recovery myspace (there are also anxiety/ocd/depression/hiv-aids tribe sites all linked at the addiction tribe website.)

http://www.sobercircle.com
good but i like "tribe" better

http://www.itworkz.org
lots of resources for whatever you need in recovery...AA speaker tapes (you can download) and other links for other programs and/or websites related to recovery

http://www.sobriety.tv
alot of recovery related movies, videos, etc

http://recovery101.podomatic.com/
kind of like an on air meeting (really cool i have them on my myspace)

http://morticia-recoveryrocks.blogspot.com/2008/05/recovery-101-podcast.html
this is their player in my friend morticias blog about recovery...it is just starting there is no one subscribed there yet...

then there is a forum i am working on with her but it is dead in the water:
http://www.freepowerboards.com/breezybitch

http://www.serenityfound.com


also, there is alot of really good stuff available on youtube...

i will post other ones if i can think of them...i hope these are helpful...

breezy

[Grins]

I will save them and check them out Breezy=good work=I am proud of you!!

[Shotzie]

WEll here is the latest update, she is still with me, I have taken her to her court appts. and she just got her certificate for being off drugs for 2 months. I am very proud of her.

The other day I had her shoveling gravel and weeding in my front yard. ( mean aren't I, but I was next to her working also) Her dad drove up and gave her a BIG hug telling her how proud of her he was..This has been a hard long time for him. but to see her actually working is really something. (she usually sleeps all day) So so far things are going pretty good got my fingers crossed. THanks again for your support. Hope your sister comes around..sending prayers to your mom.

Although it's a different substance, the splitting bit sounds very similar to my sister. She falls apart, mum has her to stay (removes every last drop of alcohol in the house before-hand), but as soon as she feels up to it, she does a runner! Then when she eventually decides to call, and mum comments that she never even said goodbye, she ALWAYS says "didn't you get my voice-mail".

My birthday card from her this year had the envelope addressed to me, but the actual card was written to my boyfriend and son??????? People laugh about it, but it's sad!

I'm thinking of you Shotzie - it's one thing with a sister, but my mum really goes through the ringer when it comes to her oldest daughter...I think it's much tougher when it's your son/daughter.

[Roamer]

Good news, Shotzie. Sometimes tough love is the only way.

[Shotzie]

Good news, Shotzie. Sometimes tough love is the only way.

THanks Roamer, I do believe Tough Love works sometimes..When my grand daughter first ran away and we couldn't find her. the police didn't seem to care..Just another runaway. WEll when I went down to the Police Station with her picture,,they hadn't even requested it. I told the Officer " you don't want to get a grandmother Mad" :madranting94dp: He made the statement.
" He rather deal with the parents than a grandmother they are more dangerous..I told him he got that right.

Actually what happened in this situation, was my grandaughter was missing for over 3 weeks and I heard thru the grapevine ( I do have connections)
that a lady was harboring her.
I went to her house with a Black feather and a birds claw inside a Gold Box wrapped with a black ribbon.

. I asked her if she knew the whereabouts of my granddaughter that she denied. Then I said "My Hell started when my granddaughter ran away, but your Hell starts right NOW " and handed her the box and walked away..That afternoon my grandaughter was dropped off at her parents house.

The power of the unknown works miracles..THat lady had No clue what that box meant but in her mind it scared her enough. and she hadn't had contact with my granddaughter since.

Yep my friends call me crazy, but if it works who cares.:basic44:

[Grins]

THanks Roamer, I do believe Tough Love works sometimes..When my grand daughter first ran away and we couldn't find her. the police didn't seem to care..Just another runaway. WEll when I went down to the Police Station with her picture,,they hadn't even requested it. I told the Officer " you don't want to get a grandmother Mad" :madranting94dp: He made the statement.
" He rather deal with the parents than a grandmother they are more dangerous..I told him he got that right.

Actually what happened in this situation, was my grandaughter was missing for over 3 weeks and I heard thru the grapevine ( I do have connections)
that a lady was harboring her.
I went to her house with a Black feather and a birds claw inside a Gold Box wrapped with a black ribbon.

. I asked her if she knew the whereabouts of my granddaughter that she denied. Then I said "My Hell started when my granddaughter ran away, but your Hell starts right NOW " and handed her the box and walked away..That afternoon my grandaughter was dropped off at her parents house.

The power of the unknown works miracles..THat lady had No clue what that box meant but in her mind it scared her enough. and she hadn't had contact with my granddaughter since.

Yep my friends call me crazy, but if it works who cares.:basic44:

:67302: Shotzie, you are my Hero! How cool! That was brilliant.

:howdy: A Tip O the Hat fer ya!!

My Gram was a treat too; she carried a thorn stick...with a leaded top.

Bless you all; prayers will continue~your love is bearing fruit.
Well done for you both.

:1222423::1222423:

[London Lass]

Shotzie - that's great news, i'm really happy for all of you! :basic44:

[Shotzie]

hey Grins, What is a thorn stick.? I might have to get one for my bag of goodies..:girl_haha:

Thanks for the support.

[London Lass]

THanks Roamer, I do believe Tough Love works sometimes..When my grand daughter first ran away and we couldn't find her. the police didn't seem to care..Just another runaway. WEll when I went down to the Police Station with her picture,,they hadn't even requested it. I told the Officer " you don't want to get a grandmother Mad" :madranting94dp: He made the statement.
" He rather deal with the parents than a grandmother they are more dangerous..I told him he got that right.

Actually what happened in this situation, was my grandaughter was missing for over 3 weeks and I heard thru the grapevine ( I do have connections)
that a lady was harboring her.
I went to her house with a Black feather and a birds claw inside a Gold Box wrapped with a black ribbon.

. I asked her if she knew the whereabouts of my granddaughter that she denied. Then I said "My Hell started when my granddaughter ran away, but your Hell starts right NOW " and handed her the box and walked away..That afternoon my grandaughter was dropped off at her parents house.

The power of the unknown works miracles..THat lady had No clue what that box meant but in her mind it scared her enough. and she hadn't had contact with my granddaughter since.

Yep my friends call me crazy, but if it works who cares.:basic44:


Well played Shotzie! :zm10:

[Grins]

"I am not an alcoholic."

Growing up, the most degrading thing that could be said about someone was "He is an alcoholic."
So I could never admit that right? Look at all my achievements! I work. I am not a bum under a bridge.

Look at my history, I say.
Oh sure I drank as a bachelor in my crazy days but:
=I quit drinking in 1973
=never drank while I was a homicide prosecutor, 1974 to 1981
=began to have a "well-earned drink after work" around 1984...
soon I was drinking to excess every day
but I had been sober 11 years=so I could quit any time I wanted right?

Then=drank 3 years; sober 3 years; then
one glass of wine
soon it was 5 years drinking again and I couldn't work, then divorce, homeless, hungry and had lost everything and drank until I decided to kill myself on
September 23, 1996
the day of my "wrong number miracle"; I have not had a drink or a cigarette since.

I was an alcoholic; I am a recovering alcoholic and thank God every day. Now you see why I write about my miracle and come here and to the Suicide thread.

God loved me and I decided to live according to his teachings and be free of chemicals to see and think clearly and finally to be me. The real me who has sorrow for my past but is determined not to let it destroy my today. I had to forgive me and every one else and I did.

Love saved me and fills my life now~Love is what I am happy to give back~

[Grins]

12 steps

In early years I needed weekly meetings; now I have 12 years sober and improving in all areas of beliefs and thinking without meetings.

My friends still go every week as they have for many years; in some cases for over 30 years. I heartily approve.

Meetings gave me a new group of friends right away which I needed. Isolation was one of my defects of character. These friends were just like me! We learned, laughed and played together and helped each other stay away from a drink that day. It worked for me. It was fun and I looked forward to meetings which were no longer 'meetings' but going to a gathering of friends.

My first 12 step picnic was a blast!
=I hooted with laughter at a bunch of drunks across the road=then ooooooops=that was I a month ago!
Meetings are vital for many for many reasons.
````````

a good site for all addicts and those who love them is
http://alcoholism.about.com/

Here is one part of it
http://alcoholism.about.com/u/ua/support/quit_drinking.htm

Readers Respond: Why Did You Decide to Quit Drinking?
Responses: 36

by Buddy T.."
``````````````
"12 Step Recovery
There are many resources available both online and off for those who are recovering in a 12 step program such as Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon Family Groups, Narcotics Anonymous or Adult Children of Alcoholic [and other dysfunctional falilies].."
`````
"A.A. Works Best, Study Says
Individuals who were encouraged to cut down on their drinking by fellow Alcoholics Anonymous members were three times more likely to be abstinent a year after their first treatment for alcoholism, compared to individuals who received no support.

The Twelve Steps
Not merely a way to stop drinking, these steps can also be a guide toward an entire new way of life.
[emphasis definitely mine!]

http://alcoholism.about.com/od/etc/12_Step_Recovery.htm

[PatC]

Wow. I've noticed we haven't had traffic here for several days. Does that mean everyone's doing great... or the opposite?

I admit to have a few tense days leading up to the 2nd anniversary of my son's death, but putting together a party of family and friends took most of the edge off and when that went off smoothly, I began to relax and enjoy everyone.

I've always been more or less a hermit... I know, I know, it's hard to believe for my cyber-friends... so those who are like me will know what I mean when I say it was wonderful to see everyone, I enjoyed talking and catching up with them... especially the friends of KC who showed up... but I was glad when they all managed to leave more or less according to my invitation. (I'd said the party was from 1PM to 7PM and everyone was gone by 8PM -- just in time for Harper's Island! LOL)

Now, that's behind me for another year.

[Grins]

Hi PatC...
oh by the way....

Great news!

Pauli announced:
"HFTM is proud to announce our May Volunteer of the Month

PatC

PatC is a wonderful volunteer and person. She not only helps posters with board problems, she takes the time every day to acknowledge them, making them feel welcome here. She has helped with the missing persons in verifying information for us, making calls or whatever we ask of her. PatC has also jumped in to lend a hand is some of the other things we have had in the works for HFTM, you can always count on her help.

Please join us in saying...
Congratulations to our friend
PatC"

WE LOVE YOU PAT!!

at
http://helpfindthemissing.org/forum/showthread.php?t=14416

[Grins]

Any problem drinkers who still believe they can drink
without getting drunk if they just watch it next time
and maybe change to a different drink?

[Grins]

Unforgiveness,
a decision to refuse to forgive which I made on an ongoing basis, included for me
anger >rage>thoughts of revenge>obsession>deep depression
all of which I used as an excuse to get drunk.

Drunk, I destroyed my marriage and profession of thirty years.
Drunk and shamed I planned my suicide.

Hence:
Unforgiveness; my decision to refuse to forgive,
cost me my marriage and profession of thirty years.
Unforgiveness led me to make a suicide attempt September 23, 1996.

Was unforgiveness harmful to me?

Notice, nothing has been said about who or how or what or how serious or grave the insult or wrong done me. Nothing about asking for or deserving forgiveness.

I must forgive for my sake.

[Grins]

One day in alcohol rehab the therapist said,
"If you continue to drink and drug you will die."

That is what we are seeing over and over in the news.
A part of the downfall of so many stars who 'had it all.'
Is there satisfaction in life for stars who use now and are arrested and in and out of hospitals with broken marriages and hearts behind them?
Was it worth it for all the stars we can count back through generations who have died young?

Did it work for you or the 'stars' in your life and family?

Something else I recall:
"At first, that drug made you feel good.
Then not so good. Then it hurts you.
So, has your drug worked for you and improved your life over time?"

The good news to shout from the rooftops is that there is hope; you can get help and get well; your life will be better and more fun without drugs.
You can get yourself~your real self~back and then help others.

I know because, alcoholic, homeless and depressed, my death was scheduled by me on September 23, 1996.

I know because I am recovering~
because I am living the best life I ever had;
without depression or a drink or cigarette for twelve years plus
today.
That is all I have, today.
And I thank God every day for it.

[rockford2]

Well.......it's official. My BF's EX hubby is officially homeless and living in his van.

This happened yesterday, July31. Because of his alcoholism he has lost his JOB, wife, kids, brother, and nephew. He is broke as he went through $19,000 OF HIS RETIREMENT MONEY in just 4 short months.

It breakes my heart to see this man that I have known since the age of 15 drink his life away. Homeless....crying.

This is just tearing me up inside. We all tried........LORD, did we try!! But WHY did it come down to this??? WHY??????

[PatC]

Well.......it's official. My BF's EX hubby is officially homeless and living in his van.

This happened yesterday, July31. Because of his alcoholism he has lost his JOB, wife, kids, brother, and nephew. He is broke as he went through $19,000 OF HIS RETIREMENT MONEY in just 4 short months.

It breakes my heart to see this man that I have known since the age of 15 drink his life away. Homeless....crying.

This is just tearing me up inside. We all tried........LORD, did we try!! But WHY did it come down to this??? WHY??????

Dear Rockford. I hope you're not beating yourself up over this. I've followed this downward spiral, via your posts, and I think you've done all anyone could to help... I won't even TRY to answer "why". At this point I think all anyone can do is hope he has something similar to Grins' "wrong number miracle" happen to him before it's too late to save his life.

:give_rose:

[texanne]

Rockford, the day he hit rock bottom may just turn out to be the luckiest day in his life. He is facing the reality of what he has done, and will have to make a decision...a real decision..now. Many people have to hit the bottom before they can start climbing back up. I pray for you friend. Many of us have had loved ones who struggled so long with the blinders on. The drop often knocks the blinders off. I hope he comes across someone who will convince him that there is a ladder out of where he is...and that others will support him in his getting help.

[rockford2]

I just saw him on my bike ride. He was just sitting on a park bench drunk out of his skull.

His van needs brakes. No food. Some church in town has let him park his van behind the church and he is sleeping in his van. He was wearing his former employer's work uniform. He has gone from having $183 dollars in his pocket this past Sunday, to only a twenty dollar bill. He says he used it to stay in a hotel. :z0tdntknw:

I asked him when the last time it was when he called his kids and to maybe give them a call. His answer was that he 'just called " " a few days ago.

:cray:

[Grins]

Alcohol Steals the Real You

Many alcoholics have brain chemistry different from others and process alcohol differently. Instead of eliminating it the brain completely, craving sites retain some accounting, in part, for so much continued drinking after a few.
http://thebrain.mcgill.ca/flash/i/i_03/i_03_m/i_03_m_par/i_03_m_par_alcool.html
~
"Chronic alcohol use can:

* Damage the frontal lobes of the brain
* Cause an overall reduction in brain size and increase in the size of the ventricles
* Lead to alcoholism (addiction to alcohol) and result in tolerance to the effects of alcohol and variety of health problems
* Cause a vitamin deficiency. Because the digestion system of alcoholics is unable to absorb vitamin B-1 (thiamine), a syndrome known as "Wernicke's Encephalopathy" may develop. This syndrome is characterized by impaired memory, confusion and lack of coordination. Further deficiencies of thiamine can lead to "Korsakoff's Syndrome." This disorder is characterized by amnesia, apathy and disorientation. Widespread disease of the brain is a feature of both Wernicke's and Korsakoff's Syndromes..."
http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/alco.html

[Grins]

Rockford consider finding a local "Open" AA meeting and taking him if he will go.
Or visit a meeting and ask for someone there to contact him.
AA works. It helps when nothing else does.
I know.

[Lizziebeth]

When I was little, I thought the way things were was normal for people. I thought it was normal for men to hit their wives and their children. My mom's dad's side of the family were alcoholics, but i never saw anything wrong with them.

I spent the first 5 yearsof my life hiding and covering my ears when bio-dad beat mom. spnt the next 2 dodging him because mom divorced him and on weekends she wasn't there to protect my sisters and me. Bio-dad wasn't an alcoholic, but he just had his own problems. when I was 7 and my sisters were 6 and 4, we told mom we were scared and we didn't want to go back. She fought for full custody. Even bio-dad's lawyer told him to give it up, he's not going to win. Judge told him to get help and he'd win back joint custody.we did supervised visitation for a few months until he left. He joined the army and i never saw him again. we got a card once. we talked in 2007 when i was 16 but we argued the whole time. Manda doesn't remember the crap he put us through, she keeps contact. As far as Kat and I are concerned, We don't need him. We have a dad who loves us. Joanna was born a year after we last saw our bio-dad. she's lucky that he's not her dad. Her dad is a wonderful man who takes care of us.

I realzed that My Grandpa was an alcoholic when i was 14. I was visiting for the summer with my mom and sisters. Dad stayed behind and worked. Sometimes he was a happy when he was drunk and sometimes he was miserible when he ws drunk. My uncle and i counted how many beer cans we put in the bottle return. it was somewhere aroun 200 can in two weeks. we always said that hell would freeze over before he stopped drinking. Oneday, Uncle kevin called mom. "Hell froze over!" He has borderline diabetes. he was told if he kept drinking, he'd die. he stoped right then and there.

We moved back up here in 2006 to help out my Uncle Jimmy (Dying of cancer) and my aunt kathy (disabled). They're my Grandpa's brother and sister. Uncle Jimmy died two months after we moved up here. Aunt Kathy had a mental breakdown, wound up in a mental institution. She got out and had a hip replacement, went back to work and starteddrinking again. she threw drunk rages over nothing. she hit my dad once. He pinned her up against the wall and she never did it again. She lost her job b/c of drinking. finally, in summer of 2007, she admitted to being a drunk and went to rehab. Didn't do any good. She started drinking again. Over the summer she moved out to live with our cousins. Nicky is autistic and Travis is mentlly delayed. their mom died in February. She's still drinking and now she's selling the house (she and uncle ricky, who is a drug user as well). there's nothing we or my grandpa can do. We went to court and they said that we have no right to be here. I went hystrical in the office of the court attorney. we have until the house is sold to move out. We're likely going back to Georgia. We can't afford anything up here. That only plus side about having to leaving, is that we get to go back to Georgia. My aunt and uncle are dead to us. We don't need them either.

[Roamer]

Some things (and some people), just can't be fixed, Lizzie.

I hope you find a wonderful life in Georgia.

[Grins]

Too much heartache Lizziebeth. I grieve with you.
Alcohol addiction steals the real person and leaves a slave
without any ability to reason or think beyond the next drink.
We can pray for their healing and move on, taking care of ourselves.

[Jute]

<respectfully snipped>

We don't need them either.

Lizziebeth, I'm sorry that you have experienced so much tragedy in your young life, but you will survive. Despite what you saw, you've grown up to be a kind, deeply compassionate, and loving young woman. When you return to Georgia, you can sort of start over with a clean slate - maybe for the first time in your life you will be free of the poison alcoholism/drug addiction fills everyone surrounding the addict.

My family has alcoholics on both sides; it wasn't until I just let them go that I was able to stop the pain and get on with my own life.

[Jute]

Too much heartache Lizziebeth. I grieve with you.
Alcohol addiction steals the real person and leaves a slave
without any ability to reason or think beyond the next drink.
We can pray for their healing and move on, taking care of ourselves.

:love0085: Grins, you are a wise man and a true inspiration. :friends3:

[Lizziebeth]

Thanks everybody:love0085:. Whatever happens, happens. thats life. Left a message on my uncle's answering machine and told him my opinion and how this was affecting my 10 y/o sis, Joanna. I was calm, but he never got back to me, which i expected.

[PatC]

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g258/PatC_pics/smilies/hi.gif

Lizziebeth, I'm sorry that you have experienced so much tragedy in your young life, but you will survive. Despite what you saw, you've grown up to be a kind, deeply compassionate, and loving young woman. When you return to Georgia, you can sort of start over with a clean slate - maybe for the first time in your life you will be free of the poison alcoholism/drug addiction fills everyone surrounding the addict.

My family has alcoholics on both sides; it wasn't until I just let them go that I was able to stop the pain and get on with my own life.

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g258/PatC_pics/smilies/Point-up.gif....http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g258/PatC_pics/smilies/whatshesaid.gif....http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g258/PatC_pics/smilies/Point-up.gif

[Grins]

Healing

I am free
I am free never more will I be
a slave
but I know slavery well

may I tell you
there is hope you can be free
best of all you will discover
not only
happiness again
but also you will never never again
be lonely
no
never never again~

[Grins]

MAYO CLINIC

Alcohol and depression: What are the risks?
By Gabrielle J. Melin, M.D.

"We've all heard that doing things "in moderation" is acceptable.

So can you drink a moderate amount of alcohol if you have depression? I don't advise it. In most cases, one should steer clear of alcohol for a number of reasons:
..."

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/alcohol-and-depression/MY01078

[Grins]

Police say most arrests happen in or as a result of bars.
Alcohol makes you a monster most times. A person you would not recognize.

Challenge:
Ask your family to videotape you drunk or high. Or do it yourself in private.
Watch it and be amazed.
You will prefer you sober and so will everyone.

[Grins]

From Mayo Clinic link above:

"... * Potentially dangerous interactions with medications. Not just psychiatric medications and not just prescription medications, remember over-the-counter medications, too!
* Alcohol itself is a depressant and can make depression (and anxiety) worse.
* Alcohol affects one's judgment and decreases inhibitions.
* Alcohol has a negative impact on the quality of sleep overall.
* Alcohol can worsen other health problems.
..."

[Grins]

Eric Clapton
did it! And is doing it...helping others,,,

From his web site:

"...After conquering his heroin addiction in the early 70s, Eric replaced it with an addiction to alcohol. Throughout the remainder of the decade and into the 1980s, his life and work suffered due to his alcoholism. In January 1982, Eric entered the Hazelden Foundation, a rehabilitation facility in the United States. He did backslide but entered rehab a second time a few years later. He has been sober since 1987 through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Since that time, Eric has been committed to working with others who suffer from addictions to drugs and alcohol.

In February 1998, Eric announced the opening of Crossroads Centre, a rehabilitation facility for drug and alcohol abuse on the island of Antigua. ,,,"

http://www.ericclapton.com/eric-clapton-biography?page=0%2C3

[nomadpatti]

Eric Clapton
did it! And is doing it...helping others,,,

From his web site:

"...After conquering his heroin addiction in the early 70s, Eric replaced it with an addiction to alcohol. Throughout the remainder of the decade and into the 1980s, his life and work suffered due to his alcoholism. In January 1982, Eric entered the Hazelden Foundation, a rehabilitation facility in the United States. He did backslide but entered rehab a second time a few years later. He has been sober since 1987 through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Since that time, Eric has been committed to working with others who suffer from addictions to drugs and alcohol.

In February 1998, Eric announced the opening of Crossroads Centre, a rehabilitation facility for drug and alcohol abuse on the island of Antigua. ,,,"

http://www.ericclapton.com/eric-clapton-biography?page=0%2C3

Hi Grins,
Have you heard his story? I have it on CD. Great speaker!

[Grins]

Hi Grins,
Have you heard his story? I have it on CD. Great speaker!Hiya Nomadpatti :happy0207:
I miss you! Stop in the Koffee Klatch fer a cuppa.

No I never heard it = where did you get it & title?
Saw his concert for Crosswords=WOWSER
ALL the big music names were there.

He did talk some that time. Very honest too.

[nomadpatti]

Hiya Nomadpatti :happy0207:
I miss you! Stop in the Koffee Klatch fer a cuppa.

No I never heard it = where did you get it & title?
Saw his concert for Crosswords=WOWSER
ALL the big music names were there.

He did talk some that time. Very honest too.

Actually, it is a copy that my father made for me, so I do not have a title. The CD includes Stevie Ray Vaughn and Tony H (Anthony Hopkins). Really fasinating! I'll ask him about a title.

[Grins]

Thanks, I will look too.
It might be a concert.

[Grins]

As an alcoholic, I was lonely. By choice. Little by little I cut off from all others; just me and booze.
Sickness and loneliness.
And I chose them.
Stupid? Yes.

So,the first benefit of AA is to hand you friends; friends who are like you!
No more loneliness
ever
ever ever
again~

[Grins]

Help is what I needed as you see.
One is the return to the God of my youth.
Reading this encouraged me:



"Isaiah 40:28-31
(New International Version)

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Link (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah+40%3A28-31&version=NIV)

[texanne]

I have a huge amount of respect for anyone who can conquer any type of addiction. I had an ex alchoholic tell me once that the hardest thing....the thing that took him years....was getting the idea out of his head that he could have just one drink. He said he could not face the fact that he would never have another one.....life would be barren. That conversation stuck in my mind, and gave me a lot to think about. There was a time in my life that I could have become addicted to alcohol. What stopped me was the fact that I am (I think) allergic to alcohol. I was sick for three days when I tried to party with the "crowd" and drink tequila. God did me a favor when he built that sensitivity into me, because I really wanted to be able to drink. Same with cigarettes...sick as a dog. It was as if God were saying.."Take THAT you hard-headed thing". So, I am the first to admit that if not for the grace of God....it could have been me.

[rockford2]

I know this will sound stupid to many, but for almost all of my adult life, I never went into liquor stores. I went many, many times with my mother when I was very young, but never as an adult.

There is a small store that hubby and I purchase our lunchmeat. The store has a section that stores only booze. Lately, I've been found in that department just viewing all of the different liquors and just the other day my husband asked me, "what's your fasination (sp?) lately with looking at the bottles of booze and different kinds of beer?" I have no clue?

[Grins]

I have a huge amount of respect for anyone who can conquer any type of addiction. I had an ex alchoholic tell me once that the hardest thing....the thing that took him years....was getting the idea out of his head that he could have just one drink. He said he could not face the fact that he would never have another one.....life would be barren. That conversation stuck in my mind, and gave me a lot to think about. There was a time in my life that I could have become addicted to alcohol. What stopped me was the fact that I am (I think) allergic to alcohol. I was sick for three days when I tried to party with the "crowd" and drink tequila. God did me a favor when he built that sensitivity into me, because I really wanted to be able to drink. Same with cigarettes...sick as a dog. It was as if God were saying.."Take THAT you hard-headed thing". So, I am the first to admit that if not for the grace of God....it could have been me.

))))))) :67302: )))))))) yup yup the message was clear... ,,,,,,,
:groan:
Actually it is accurate to say 'allergic to alcohol'
I am

Pride kept me believing I could ust have a few drinks; control my drinking...just watch myself.....switch to beer....
but
nothing worked
after a few years, every time I drank I got drunk
then learned
some have a gene that causes alcohol to be processed so that a drink stays in the brain and stimulates craving!
Now I know =no drink ever=and that is ok with me=no shame there

My unhealthy pride almost killed me.

[Grins]

Rockford
Interesting..hm......mebbe you are getting a message to pass on?

[rockford2]

Rockford
Interesting..hm......mebbe you are getting a message to pass on?

I need to take a deeper look into this...Maybe as I get older, my strengths are not as strong? dunno.

[Grins]

Rock
it could be a nudge to pray for alcoholics


When my beloved 1993 Caddy was broken into I was angry then *surprise* into my head came
'Pray for him'
ok=grumble
I did and soon all my anger was gone and the repairs led to meeting another recovering alcoholic at the garage!
Sooooooo hmmmmm
God works in strange ways but for our good if we listen....

\as a bonus
for me =anger usually led to drinking
then depression
this time\\\ neither