I Now Regret Not Being a Better Doggie Mom

[Roamer]

Thinking back, I wasn't always the doggie mom I wish I'd been. I loved all my dogs, but when my five kids were growing up, I also worked, plus my husband was on the road a lot, so everything kind of fell on me.

The three I have now that I'm retired and the kids are all grown and gone, get all the love and attention I wish I'd had time to give the others, and I hope now that they're in doggie Heaven, they forgive me.

I know guilt is a totally wasted emotion, but I just wondered if anyone else has ever had these feelings.

[Mrs Robinson]

Thinking back, I wasn't always the doggie mom I wish I'd been. I loved all my dogs, but when my five kids were growing up, I also worked, plus my husband was on the road a lot, so everything kind of fell on me.

The three I have now that I'm retired and the kids are all grown and gone, get all the love and attention I wish I'd had time to give the others, and I hope now that they're in doggie Heaven, they forgive me.

I know guilt is a totally wasted emotion, but I just wondered if anyone else has ever had these feelings.Yes.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[Roamer]

Yes.


Rainbow Bridge has helped me get through some very tough moments, as I'm sure it has others. It's a blessing when you lose a fur baby.

[maryhaze]

Roamer, i'm here with my guys 24/7 & still feel guilty when they pass. especially if i have to make the decision to put them down due to illness. do not beat yourself up over something that you cannot change.:1222423:

[Roamer]

That's very kind of you, Mary. Thanks.

I had to have my beloved 3 year old filly put down last winter. Raised her from a baby. She had a terrible case of laminitis, and both my vet and farrier, after seeing her x-rays, said she'd never get better, only worse, and both advised me to put her down.

It broke my heart, and I still miss her every single day, even though I know I did what was best for her.

[Noahs ARK]

Thinking back, I wasn't always the doggie mom I wish I'd been. I loved all my dogs, but when my five kids were growing up, I also worked, plus my husband was on the road a lot, so everything kind of fell on me.

The three I have now that I'm retired and the kids are all grown and gone, get all the love and attention I wish I'd had time to give the others, and I hope now that they're in doggie Heaven, they forgive me.

I know guilt is a totally wasted emotion, but I just wondered if anyone else has ever had these feelings.

Roamer ~ Absolutely! When I was raising my son and working 2 jobs, I probably shouldn't even have HAD animals, but I did. Poor things - we were hardly ever there, but when we WERE there, they got lots of lovin'.

Even tho I'm retired now, I still feel guilty that my animals don't get enough attention. Between Mr. Noah being disabled and having 17 animals, there's just not enough of me to go around these days.

I even feel guilty about the strays I can't catch.

I'm one big Guilt Trip. :1187603408.CR.Mothe

[gibbrishclown]

Oh yeah! When I lived with my ex and these were mostly his dogs, they weren't cared for up to my standards at all. I did my best with what I knew and what was available, but it was a bad situation for everyone involved. I mean look at Cristal and Corona.. mother and daughter... Cristal is only 10 months older than Corona! Or worse, the time I listened to the vets telling me that Tonic was jst poorly bred and had to be put down to protect everyone around us- esp. kids. I killed my dog because I listened to biased people and bought their bullsht... I guess it's these experiences that drive me to not only do better personally, but help others do better also!

I even hate having fosters seperated from the rest of my dogs! It beats what they'd have had otherwise, but I feel guilt when I have separate packs.

[Kami]

That's very kind of you, Mary. Thanks.

I had to have my beloved 3 year old filly put down last winter. Raised her from a baby. She had a terrible case of laminitis, and both my vet and farrier, after seeing her x-rays, said she'd never get better, only worse, and both advised me to put her down.

It broke my heart, and I still miss her every single day, even though I know I did what was best for her.


You did everything you possibly could for her and don't you forget that!!! She was definetly one of kind!! Just wish I could of met her in person.

Love you Mom!! :1222423::love0085:

[rockford2]

there are times when I don't have enough time for my 2 dogs, hubby and my son, but what the dogs really need is a talking to, a brushing, and a quick walk.

I just want to know why the lab still occasionally growls at us? The Dalmation is such a laid back dog, but the Lab that is mixed with German Shepherd is soooooooo hyper and when she is told to do something, she gives us a look like, "dare me!"

She has been with us since 6 weeks old and is now 5 years old. What are we doing wrong??

Did we totally spoil her? heck yes. Is that what we did wrong? :z0tdntknw:

[maryhaze]

sounds like it. you need to start a NILIF program with her. nothing in life is free. anytime she wants anything, she has to do something, anything to get it. make her sit before dinner, make her down before you pet her. you really need to get her to understand YOU are the alpha. i'm sure Gibby can be more help but i'd hate to see her growling escalate into something worse.:(

[Roamer]

there are times when I don't have enough time for my 2 dogs, hubby and my son, but what the dogs really need is a talking to, a brushing, and a quick walk.

I just want to know why the lab still occasionally growls at us? The Dalmation is such a laid back dog, but the Lab that is mixed with German Shepherd is soooooooo hyper and when she is told to do something, she gives us a look like, "dare me!"

She has been with us since 6 weeks old and is now 5 years old. What are we doing wrong??

Did we totally spoil her? heck yes. Is that what we did wrong? :z0tdntknw:

Since I love and watch Cesar Milan, aka The Dog Whisperer, it sounds to me like you haven't established yourself as what he calls "leader of the pack".

If you change your way of dealing with the Lab, her bad habits might change, too.

She may need more exercise to get out some of that aggression. Sometimes it's as simple as lowering your voice. He has a website where you can get lots of hints to help.

[rockford2]

Since I love and watch Cesar Milan, aka The Dog Whisperer, it sounds to me like you haven't established yourself as what he calls "leader of the pack".

If you change your way of dealing with the Lab, her bad habits might change, too.

She may need more exercise to get out some of that aggression. Sometimes it's as simple as lowering your voice. He has a website where you can get lots of hints to help.


never thought about more exercise to get the aggression out since one time somebody went to pet her and she snapped at the guy! Sometimes she does this and other days she allows people to pet her.

To me, she seems like a very strange dog, but I'm sure it's the way she was raised. She was SO spoiled, and she was allowed to get away with things that the older dog was not.

To be truthful, I am AFRAID when she gives me that look like 'don't you dare"

Thank you for the tips. I really appreciate it.

[Roamer]

never thought about more exercise to get the aggression out since one time somebody went to pet her and she snapped at the guy! Sometimes she does this and other days she allows people to pet her.

Here's what he does. He takes the dog for a walk on a leash, keeping it short since the dog should always be just beside or behind you. Never allow them to lead or pull because that shows them they're the boss. The very minute the dog displays bad behavior, pull hard on the leash and make them sit. When they become calm, show them affection.

To me, she seems like a very strange dog, but I'm sure it's the way she was raised. She was SO spoiled, and she was allowed to get away with things that the older dog was not.

That's often the cause of bad behavior. Again, they've established themselves as leader, not follower.

To be truthful, I am AFRAID when she gives me that look like 'don't you dare"

Sounds like discipline (not hurting, of course) and a little bit of, "I'm the boss here" is all you need with her.

Thank you for the tips. I really appreciate it.

I'm no expert, believe me. I'm lucky that my dogs are very well behaved. His stuff is so simple, and makes so much sense if we just make small changes.

Best of luck. P.S. He's on National Geographic Channel. He says he rehabilitates dogs and trains people.

[gibbrishclown]

He's the man! his books are also very insightful and make swell christmas presents IMO. Cesar's Way was the first and it is a fantastic background in dog psych an dhis principles... Be The Pack Leader is also great and is more of a guide to how to implement his principles.

Mary is right on about NILF... (although it amuses me when she defers to me, given she's got the experience of many years and many aggressive dogs!!) you can google this term and find more in depth info, but just make the dog EARN EVERYTHING... nothing in life is free. Food, water, freedom, toys, affection, the opening of a door, placement on the couch, ALL OF IT is yours to give and that's what we have to inform this lovely little lab mix! I don't know what her cues are, if she sits, downs or any of it, but if not you can teach her to... Or make calm submission in any position be how she earns stuff. You eat first, sit on furniture ALONE till you ask the dogs to join (if they jump up uninvited, move them back onto the ground and make them do something to earn their place on the couch) it's ok to be the HBIC in this case. :D She doesn't have to sleep in bed with you right off, she can earn that once she's got respect for you. My own dogs will be slowly earning each new part of my new house when we move... and they're not rescues, just setting the stage for my running things, not giving anyone a chance to try to best me for leader-alpha spot :)

You don't get to be fearful when she gives you that eye. That only reinforces it, because that worked for her! I think if it were mine to deal with, I'd make an "eh eh" ("no") noise and back her out of the room using my body and energy... not touching though, just taking 'her' (MY) space (back) from her... BUT if you can't do this with confidence, shelf the idea until you can- it could be dangerous if you're unsure, she could think it's time to prove herself rather than just submit... also, a pro might come in for a consultation and it may not be a bad idea!!

(all this is JMO)

[Roamer]

All good ideas, gibby, as usual.

The Lab just needs to learn she isn't first. They're all so smart, we just need to let them know what we expect from them.

Your babies will do fine in the new place. They have a good mom.

[spicedtea]

Thinking back, I wasn't always the doggie mom I wish I'd been. I loved all my dogs, but when my five kids were growing up, I also worked, plus my husband was on the road a lot, so everything kind of fell on me.

The three I have now that I'm retired and the kids are all grown and gone, get all the love and attention I wish I'd had time to give the others, and I hope now that they're in doggie Heaven, they forgive me.

I know guilt is a totally wasted emotion, but I just wondered if anyone else has ever had these feelings.

Yes,I think most people feel this way at some point but I like to think that our furry loved ones in Heaven understand and forgive. For me the guilt was of my ignorance about pets,like not knowing that cats can get breast cancer and dismissing a worty thing on my cats tummy as just a wart but it later turned out to be cancer and it was too late. Years ago but it still comes back and haunts me.

But guilt can have a purpose, to prompt us to learn and grow. I now am very careful in checking for any bumps or warts on my pets and those I foster so it won't happen to them too.