sarahhod
12-29-2008, 09:49 AM
Remember the weird, wild stories of 2008
http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=314245
By Rodger Mullen
Staff writer
The year 2008 was one for the history books. Actually, they all are, but you know what we mean.
With the epochal events the year brought, it was easy to overlook some of the quirkier stories.
Like the the catfish that choked on a soccer ball. The crook who assaulted a store owner with a banana. The winemaker who insured his nose for $8 mil.
We collected some of the year’s oddest stories from our wire services. Some you may have heard about; most probably escaped your radar altogether.
Here’s hoping you find something here to take your mind off the more serious news. And here’s wishing you a healthy and happy 2009.
SOMETHING FISHY
BERLIN — A massive catfish apparently choked to death after trying to chow down a soccer ball in a Bavarian canal.
German police say the unfortunate two-yard-long fish was found dead, floating on the surface with a blue-and-white ball in its mouth.
“He tried to eat the ball, and it got stuck,” police spokesman Karl-Heinz Kuberlein said.
BANANA SPLIT
FREDERICK COUNTY, Md. — Frederick County sheriff’s deputies looked for a man who attacked a convenience store clerk with a banana.
A man walked into a 7-Eleven store in Monrovia just after midnight and demanded money. Investigators said that when the clerk refused, the man became so agitated that he started grabbing items off the counter. He snatched up a banana and began hitting the clerk, the sheriff’s office said.
The clerk pulled out a knife, and the man with the banana split.
SPINY FINE
WELLINGTON, New Zealand — A New Zealand man accused of assault with a prickly weapon — a hedgehog — was fined by a court and was ordered to pay most of his fine to his teenage victim.
Whakatane District Court was told that William Singalargh picked up the hedgehog and threw it several yards to hit a 15-year-old boy in the North Island east coast town of Whakatane.
Police told the court the creature had hit the victim in the leg, causing a large red welt and several puncture marks. The teen did not need medical treatment.
COOKIES CRUMBLE
MORRIS, Ill. — You would have needed a lot of milk to dunk all the cookies that spilled on an interstate highway in Illinois.
A trailer loaded with 14 tons of Oreos overturned, dumping boxes of cookies all over the road and the median about 50 miles southwest of Chicago.
It shut down the highway and backed up traffic.
Illinois State Police say the truck crashed after the driver fell asleep at the wheel.
SHOT BY HER STOVE
SEKIU, Wash. — A woman said she was shot in the leg by her stove. Cory Davis told the Peninsula Daily News she had just stoked her cast-iron heating stove when she heard a loud bang and was struck in her left calf.
Davis said a case of shotgun shells spilled about a month ago at her home and one must have landed in the newspapers she used to light the stove.
She removed a metal fragment herself and was treated at Forks Community Hospital.
INCREDIBLE: HULK ABDUCTED
LOWELL, Mass. — Missing: an eight-foot-tall green man wearing ripped purple pants and missing his feet.
Police in Lowell, Mass., say a promotional statue for the movie “The Incredible Hulk” disappeared from its spot in front of a local theater.
Police Capt. James McPadden said the statue is probably in a kid’s bedroom. But he thinks more than one person was involved and that a car or pickup truck was needed to whisk it away.
The statue was missing its feet because it was bolted to a platform. Whoever took it snapped it off at the ankles.
BUY A NOSE
LONDON — His schnoz is not to be sniffed at.
A Lloyd’s of London syndicate said it is insuring the nose of winemaker Ilja Gort for $8 million.
The Dutch winemaker and taster took out the policy after hearing about a man who lost his sense of smell in a car accident.
“I thought it must be a horror to lose your smell,” Gort said. “It would mean that you cannot taste wine anymore. Tasting wine is something you do with your nose, not your mouth.”
Gort, 47, said his nose is essential for him to produce top quality wines at his Chateau de la Garde vineyard in the Bordeaux region of France.
The custom policy covers Gort for the loss of either his nose or his sense of smell and has some conditions for protecting his nose. Among other things, he is barred from riding a motorcycle or working as a knife thrower’s assistant or fire-breather.
FORCE NOT THERE
HOLYHEAD, Wales — A man who dressed up as Darth Vader — wearing a garbage bag for a cape — and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence.
Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates’ Court.
He also whacked Jones’ 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones — known as Master Mormi Hehol — bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.
The two cousins and Barney Jones’ brother, Daniel, set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the “Star Wars” films.
In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 — 0.7 percent of the population — listed Jedi as their religion.
HERE GATOR, GATOR
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Heard the one about the guy who walked into a bar with an alligator?
At Johnny’s Saloon in Orange County, it was more than a joke when a man arrived with his 3-foot pet gator on a leash.
By the time police and animal control officers arrived at Johnny’s, the gator was in the man’s vehicle in the parking lot. Officers followed him home, where another alligator was found, animal control spokesman Ryan Drabek said.
Both alligators were impounded and were being held pending an investigation by the Department of Fish and Game, Drabek said.
THE NAME GAME
WELLINGTON, New Zealand — A family court judge in New Zealand had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names, and he did something about it.
Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.
Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said.
In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of the unfortunate names.
Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter “and tragically, Violence,” he said.
THE NAME GAME, PART 2
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Swedish authorities say parents can now name their newborns “Budweiser” or “Metallica” if they so wish.
For decades, Swedish tax authorities had banned parents from naming their children after fast food chains, rock bands or their favorite brand of beer.
But tax authority spokesman Lars Tegenfeldt said the guidelines have been relaxed. He said “there is nothing negative about a name like Coca-Cola or McDonald’s today. In the 1970s, maybe it was.”
Still, authorities are drawing the line at giving children swear words for names.
AND THEN THERE IS THIS NAME
ASHEVILLE — A 19-year-old Asheville teenager said she legally changed her name to CutoutDissection.com to protest animal dissections in schools.
The Asheville Citizen-Times reported that Asheville High graduate Jennifer Thornburg wanted to be called Cutout. Her new legal name is the Web address for an anti-dissection page of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ site. The teenager said she began opposing dissections in middle school, after a class assignment to dissect a chicken wing made her uncomfortable. She helped create a policy at her high school that allows students who object to dissections to complete an alternative assignment.
She said most of her family members still call her Jennifer.
GOD BUSTED
TAMPA, Fla. — Police said a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine.
Authorities began investigating God Lucky Howard in April. Police said he sold the cocaine to undercover detectives in his neighborhood. When officers searched his home, they reported finding 22 grams more of cocaine and a scale.
Jail records show Howard was charged with several counts of drug possession and distribution, which include increased charges for being within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing.
POOCH POLITICS
FEDERAL WAY, Wash. — A judge has decided that a suburban Seattle woman who registered her Australian shepherd-terrier mix to vote has spent enough time in the legal doghouse.
Jane Balogh had been charged with making a false statement but entered into a plea agreement last year. A King County judge dismissed the charge after Balogh showed that she had paid $240 in court costs and completed community service.
Balogh said she registered her dog Duncan to protest a loophole in the law that she said makes voter registration so easy a nonexistent person could be added to the voter rolls. She said she made no secret of her action after the fact, telling a number of elected officials she had registered her dog.
And she said Duncan never voted.
BACON BEATS FRIES
LOVELAND, Colo. — There was a tasty race for Colorado senate when voters got to choose between Bacon and Fries.
In the end, Bacon won.
Democrat incumbent Bob Bacon defeated Republican challenger Matt Fries 63 percent to 37 percent to represent the district that encompasses most of Larimer County in northern Colorado.
Bacon originally was elected to the seat in 2004 after serving three terms in the state House of Representatives. Fries is a long time education advocate.
DOUGH!
MELBOURNE, Australia — Two Australian robbers thought they were hauling away a big sack of cash from the Cuckoo Restaurant, but it turned out to be bread rolls — and one of them accidentally shot the other in the buttocks during the heist.
Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and his accomplice Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced after pleading guilty to robbing the restaurant.
During the April Fools Day holdup, Jorgensen grabbed what he believed was a bag with the Cuckoo’s daily take of about $26,000 in American dollars, but later found it was full of bread rolls, the Victorian County Court heard.
He also fired his gun accidentally during the heist, shooting Hayes in the buttocks.
KEBAB! INCOMING!
MUNICH, Germany — A German court has rejected an employee’s demand that an irate customer pay damages for throwing a half-eaten kebab at her.
The claim stems from an altercation in June in which a kebab customer unsuccessfully demanded his money back. He said he then tossed the food behind the counter.
The employee claims the customer called her a “stupid cow” and aimed the kebab at her. She said she narrowly avoided the flying kebab and wants at least $390 in damages.
The court in Munich said that the employee failed to prove her claim — and that it doesn’t matter anyway.
SHE CLEANED UP
TAMPA, Fla. — A nude maid was accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man’s home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet to clean his Tampa home.
Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.
When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.
WIFE FOR SALE
PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. — A struggling single parent and real estate agent tried to sell her house and find a husband. She’s auctioning off both her home and herself in a package deal on eBay and Craigslist.
Single parent Dee Traboscia had been divorced for eight years. She had hoped to be remarried by now, so she turned to the Internet for help. In the ad, Traboscia wrote: “If you want to live the never ending dream and experience the real love, life and the romance you have always felt was a fairytale then this is the vibrant outstanding woman of your dreams! To sweep this European Loving Lady off her feet send in your application right now.”
http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=314245
By Rodger Mullen
Staff writer
The year 2008 was one for the history books. Actually, they all are, but you know what we mean.
With the epochal events the year brought, it was easy to overlook some of the quirkier stories.
Like the the catfish that choked on a soccer ball. The crook who assaulted a store owner with a banana. The winemaker who insured his nose for $8 mil.
We collected some of the year’s oddest stories from our wire services. Some you may have heard about; most probably escaped your radar altogether.
Here’s hoping you find something here to take your mind off the more serious news. And here’s wishing you a healthy and happy 2009.
SOMETHING FISHY
BERLIN — A massive catfish apparently choked to death after trying to chow down a soccer ball in a Bavarian canal.
German police say the unfortunate two-yard-long fish was found dead, floating on the surface with a blue-and-white ball in its mouth.
“He tried to eat the ball, and it got stuck,” police spokesman Karl-Heinz Kuberlein said.
BANANA SPLIT
FREDERICK COUNTY, Md. — Frederick County sheriff’s deputies looked for a man who attacked a convenience store clerk with a banana.
A man walked into a 7-Eleven store in Monrovia just after midnight and demanded money. Investigators said that when the clerk refused, the man became so agitated that he started grabbing items off the counter. He snatched up a banana and began hitting the clerk, the sheriff’s office said.
The clerk pulled out a knife, and the man with the banana split.
SPINY FINE
WELLINGTON, New Zealand — A New Zealand man accused of assault with a prickly weapon — a hedgehog — was fined by a court and was ordered to pay most of his fine to his teenage victim.
Whakatane District Court was told that William Singalargh picked up the hedgehog and threw it several yards to hit a 15-year-old boy in the North Island east coast town of Whakatane.
Police told the court the creature had hit the victim in the leg, causing a large red welt and several puncture marks. The teen did not need medical treatment.
COOKIES CRUMBLE
MORRIS, Ill. — You would have needed a lot of milk to dunk all the cookies that spilled on an interstate highway in Illinois.
A trailer loaded with 14 tons of Oreos overturned, dumping boxes of cookies all over the road and the median about 50 miles southwest of Chicago.
It shut down the highway and backed up traffic.
Illinois State Police say the truck crashed after the driver fell asleep at the wheel.
SHOT BY HER STOVE
SEKIU, Wash. — A woman said she was shot in the leg by her stove. Cory Davis told the Peninsula Daily News she had just stoked her cast-iron heating stove when she heard a loud bang and was struck in her left calf.
Davis said a case of shotgun shells spilled about a month ago at her home and one must have landed in the newspapers she used to light the stove.
She removed a metal fragment herself and was treated at Forks Community Hospital.
INCREDIBLE: HULK ABDUCTED
LOWELL, Mass. — Missing: an eight-foot-tall green man wearing ripped purple pants and missing his feet.
Police in Lowell, Mass., say a promotional statue for the movie “The Incredible Hulk” disappeared from its spot in front of a local theater.
Police Capt. James McPadden said the statue is probably in a kid’s bedroom. But he thinks more than one person was involved and that a car or pickup truck was needed to whisk it away.
The statue was missing its feet because it was bolted to a platform. Whoever took it snapped it off at the ankles.
BUY A NOSE
LONDON — His schnoz is not to be sniffed at.
A Lloyd’s of London syndicate said it is insuring the nose of winemaker Ilja Gort for $8 million.
The Dutch winemaker and taster took out the policy after hearing about a man who lost his sense of smell in a car accident.
“I thought it must be a horror to lose your smell,” Gort said. “It would mean that you cannot taste wine anymore. Tasting wine is something you do with your nose, not your mouth.”
Gort, 47, said his nose is essential for him to produce top quality wines at his Chateau de la Garde vineyard in the Bordeaux region of France.
The custom policy covers Gort for the loss of either his nose or his sense of smell and has some conditions for protecting his nose. Among other things, he is barred from riding a motorcycle or working as a knife thrower’s assistant or fire-breather.
FORCE NOT THERE
HOLYHEAD, Wales — A man who dressed up as Darth Vader — wearing a garbage bag for a cape — and assaulted the founders of a group calling itself the Jedi church was given a suspended sentence.
Arwel Wynne Hughes, 27, attacked Jedi church founder Barney Jones — aka Master Jonba Hehol — with a metal crutch, hitting him on the head, prosecutors told Holyhead Magistrates’ Court.
He also whacked Jones’ 18-year-old cousin, Michael Jones — known as Master Mormi Hehol — bruising his thigh in the March 25 incident, prosecutors said.
The two cousins and Barney Jones’ brother, Daniel, set up the Church of Jediism, Anglesey order, last year. Jedi is the faith followed by some of the central characters in the “Star Wars” films.
In the 2001 United Kingdom census, 390,000 — 0.7 percent of the population — listed Jedi as their religion.
HERE GATOR, GATOR
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — Heard the one about the guy who walked into a bar with an alligator?
At Johnny’s Saloon in Orange County, it was more than a joke when a man arrived with his 3-foot pet gator on a leash.
By the time police and animal control officers arrived at Johnny’s, the gator was in the man’s vehicle in the parking lot. Officers followed him home, where another alligator was found, animal control spokesman Ryan Drabek said.
Both alligators were impounded and were being held pending an investigation by the Department of Fish and Game, Drabek said.
THE NAME GAME
WELLINGTON, New Zealand — A family court judge in New Zealand had enough with parents giving their children bizarre names, and he did something about it.
Just ask Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii. He had her renamed.
Judge Rob Murfitt made the 9-year-old girl a ward of the court so that her name could be changed. The girl was involved in a custody battle, he said.
In his ruling, Murfitt cited a list of the unfortunate names.
Registration officials blocked some names, including Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Keenan Got Lucy and Sex Fruit, he said. But others were allowed, including Number 16 Bus Shelter “and tragically, Violence,” he said.
THE NAME GAME, PART 2
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Swedish authorities say parents can now name their newborns “Budweiser” or “Metallica” if they so wish.
For decades, Swedish tax authorities had banned parents from naming their children after fast food chains, rock bands or their favorite brand of beer.
But tax authority spokesman Lars Tegenfeldt said the guidelines have been relaxed. He said “there is nothing negative about a name like Coca-Cola or McDonald’s today. In the 1970s, maybe it was.”
Still, authorities are drawing the line at giving children swear words for names.
AND THEN THERE IS THIS NAME
ASHEVILLE — A 19-year-old Asheville teenager said she legally changed her name to CutoutDissection.com to protest animal dissections in schools.
The Asheville Citizen-Times reported that Asheville High graduate Jennifer Thornburg wanted to be called Cutout. Her new legal name is the Web address for an anti-dissection page of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals’ site. The teenager said she began opposing dissections in middle school, after a class assignment to dissect a chicken wing made her uncomfortable. She helped create a policy at her high school that allows students who object to dissections to complete an alternative assignment.
She said most of her family members still call her Jennifer.
GOD BUSTED
TAMPA, Fla. — Police said a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine.
Authorities began investigating God Lucky Howard in April. Police said he sold the cocaine to undercover detectives in his neighborhood. When officers searched his home, they reported finding 22 grams more of cocaine and a scale.
Jail records show Howard was charged with several counts of drug possession and distribution, which include increased charges for being within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing.
POOCH POLITICS
FEDERAL WAY, Wash. — A judge has decided that a suburban Seattle woman who registered her Australian shepherd-terrier mix to vote has spent enough time in the legal doghouse.
Jane Balogh had been charged with making a false statement but entered into a plea agreement last year. A King County judge dismissed the charge after Balogh showed that she had paid $240 in court costs and completed community service.
Balogh said she registered her dog Duncan to protest a loophole in the law that she said makes voter registration so easy a nonexistent person could be added to the voter rolls. She said she made no secret of her action after the fact, telling a number of elected officials she had registered her dog.
And she said Duncan never voted.
BACON BEATS FRIES
LOVELAND, Colo. — There was a tasty race for Colorado senate when voters got to choose between Bacon and Fries.
In the end, Bacon won.
Democrat incumbent Bob Bacon defeated Republican challenger Matt Fries 63 percent to 37 percent to represent the district that encompasses most of Larimer County in northern Colorado.
Bacon originally was elected to the seat in 2004 after serving three terms in the state House of Representatives. Fries is a long time education advocate.
DOUGH!
MELBOURNE, Australia — Two Australian robbers thought they were hauling away a big sack of cash from the Cuckoo Restaurant, but it turned out to be bread rolls — and one of them accidentally shot the other in the buttocks during the heist.
Benjamin Jorgensen, 38, and his accomplice Donna Hayes, 36, were sentenced after pleading guilty to robbing the restaurant.
During the April Fools Day holdup, Jorgensen grabbed what he believed was a bag with the Cuckoo’s daily take of about $26,000 in American dollars, but later found it was full of bread rolls, the Victorian County Court heard.
He also fired his gun accidentally during the heist, shooting Hayes in the buttocks.
KEBAB! INCOMING!
MUNICH, Germany — A German court has rejected an employee’s demand that an irate customer pay damages for throwing a half-eaten kebab at her.
The claim stems from an altercation in June in which a kebab customer unsuccessfully demanded his money back. He said he then tossed the food behind the counter.
The employee claims the customer called her a “stupid cow” and aimed the kebab at her. She said she narrowly avoided the flying kebab and wants at least $390 in damages.
The court in Munich said that the employee failed to prove her claim — and that it doesn’t matter anyway.
SHE CLEANED UP
TAMPA, Fla. — A nude maid was accused of really cleaning up at a Florida man’s home. The Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said a 50-year-old man hired the maid from the Internet to clean his Tampa home.
Authorities said the woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour. Sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter said the man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean.
When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.
WIFE FOR SALE
PALM BEACH GARDENS, Fla. — A struggling single parent and real estate agent tried to sell her house and find a husband. She’s auctioning off both her home and herself in a package deal on eBay and Craigslist.
Single parent Dee Traboscia had been divorced for eight years. She had hoped to be remarried by now, so she turned to the Internet for help. In the ad, Traboscia wrote: “If you want to live the never ending dream and experience the real love, life and the romance you have always felt was a fairytale then this is the vibrant outstanding woman of your dreams! To sweep this European Loving Lady off her feet send in your application right now.”